Self Improvement

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Self Improvement
12
Thu, 01-29-2004 - 8:56am

Do you believe in continual self improvement?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 01-29-2004 - 11:58am

I do believe in self improvement.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 01-29-2004 - 1:04pm
Yes, I do try to improve myself. Fitness is a big one, because you can't just acheive it and be done with it--it's an ongoing process. This was affected by my work status in that when I worked FT in 2001-2002, after working PT the previous threes years, I lost the tiem and flexibility to work out and I gained a lot of weight. I managed to lose it again after returning to PT work.

Also, some of my goals are related to improving my work skills. For instance, I am working on positioning myself as the department expert on a particular piece of software, not only because it's useful in my work, but because I find it interesting, I already know more about it than the other people I work with and I can help them with it, and because it's a good transferrable skill if I find myself looking for a new position.

I have also been working on improving my parenting skills. I read parenting books and I took a parenting class recently. I don't think my parenting skills (or lack thereof!) are related to my work status. The things I need to work on--discipline, dealing with sibling rivalry, anger managment, etc.--would be just as relevant if I were to SAH or WOHFT.

Dana

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 01-29-2004 - 1:28pm
Do you think women as a whole are more interested in self improvement than men are?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Thu, 01-29-2004 - 1:51pm
Since I've become a parent, I've had to work on being more patient. While I think I have learned to be more patient when it comes to my daughter, I find myself less patient with my dh. This is something that I keep telling myself that I need to be better at.

For me, work does have an impact on "self-improvement." At work, I am constantly reminded of how we are all in need and that I need to try my best to be more empathetic, to be more helpful, to be more patient, to be the best person that I can be. Corny... I know.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Thu, 01-29-2004 - 2:00pm
Hmmm... I don't think that men are less *interested* but it may be that they are less "introspective." When asked the question about "self-improvement," more men may think about more concrete stuff like losing weight rather than "being a better human being."

Or maybe men just have higher opinions of themselves-- lol!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Thu, 01-29-2004 - 2:13pm

Yes, I believe in self-improvement.

Congratulations! I'm so happy to hear it. I just heard the good news and popped back over, just in case you were still checking in.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 01-29-2004 - 2:28pm
Hmmm...good questions. I think, in general, that women are more self reflective. But men can be just as interested in improving themselves in external ways--atheletic achivement, work-related achievments, etc.

Just taking a quick mental poll here of the men and women I know...

The women seem more concerned about weight loss and physical appearence, but I know both men and women who are into fitness, running, skiing, etc.

The women are much more interested in parenting skills, spiritual growth, emotional growth, but I do know both men and women who have sought counseling for depression or stress.

My DH is very into taking classes or attending meetings, etc. to gain new skills. Over the years, he's taken real estate appraisal classes (which he's never used professionally), skill-based classes (woodworking, home design and building techniques, oraganic gardening, etc.), yoga, cooking, etc. One year he decided to run a half-marathon although he is not a regular runner, and he trained and did it. I'm more inclined to just read about something or talk about it with my friends rather than hop in and commit to hands-on learning. It's actually something I admire about DH, that he is so willing to devote the energy and time it takes to try new things.

Dana

Avatar for outside_the_box_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 01-29-2004 - 4:07pm
Self-improvement? No. Self-knowledge? Yes. My biggest changes have occured in the last four years and have all been internal and incredibly difficult. Lots of growth and change. Now that I've cleared out alot of internal garbage, I know where I'm going and how I'm going to get there.



outside_the_box_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 01-29-2004 - 4:25pm
Could you elaborate on self knowledge vs. self improvement?

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Avatar for outside_the_box_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 01-29-2004 - 4:40pm
I can only explain it in terms of what I've done. I had a real problem with a specific issue . . . mostly due to my upbringing. I knew I had problems but I didn't know why. So I had to go deep inside myself to figure out why and that took a very long time. Some things were quite painful -- one thing took me two years to get through. Other things were not so painful but equally as hard to face. I had to clear out alot of garbage. It took a long time. I don't see this process as self-improvement. It was more that I wanted to get to a certain place, but many internal obsticles were in my way. Now they are gone. Now I can get to where I want to be. Does that make sense?

Self-improvement to me means disciplining myself to go out and run every day so I keep my weight down or so I can run a certain distance in a specified amount of time. Sure, I need to watch my weight, but I've given up trying to get down to the weight I was pre-DS. I'd rather drink a beer and eat pizza and sit around with DH on Sunday afternoons.

outside_the_box_mom

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