Should Bullied Kids Be Encouraged to "Fight Back"?

Avatar for cmpat
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Should Bullied Kids Be Encouraged to "Fight Back"?
18
Sun, 03-20-2011 - 10:04pm

Should Bullied Kids Be Encouraged to "Fight Back"?

The web's buzzing over a video taken in an Australia school in which Casey Heynes is seen taking hard punches and verbal teasing from a smaller boy. Classmates say Casey, a heavy student, is often the victim of bullying at the school. But in this moment, captured on video, Casey finally retaliates, lifts the bully up, and violently slams his body to the ground. End of story? Not when there's video to be shared… and shared… and shared.

Although the original video was eventually taken down by YouTube, Casey now has a dedicated Facebook Group “liked” by over 100,000 prople. MSNBC calls him an “internet hero.” And Taiwan-based NMA-TV even covered it in one of their famous digital re-enactments. Parents, particularly fathers, are clapping their hands in support. The school has suspended both boys, but a larger question remains: Was what Casey did right? And should parents be counselling their kids to retaliate against a menacing bully?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003

The rule in our house is that you report the bully to your teacher. Then if that does not stop the bully you tell us and we will talk to the teacher. Then if the bully does not stop you defend yourself and take the punishment (suspension or whatever).

Our son's 1st school had the 0 tollerance for violence rule. My son had to defend himself once and the boy did not report my son so no issue but we would have supported his decision to defend himself.

I think it is crazy that a kid can not defend himself. Of course, without the video it is one person's word against the other.

My son's new school. He was in a tussle (fight is too strong a word) and the teachers supported him because he was defending a kid that was being bullied. His new school deals with things more rationally than just the 0 tolerance rule.

I think all kids should be trained in some sort of self defense. My son's both took self defense classes. My younger one probably could use more classes.

I don't like to make decisions about something on one snipet of information but if the information is correct about him being bullied I would have supported Casey if he was my kid.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006

i like your rules, i would only add that ignoring the bully, not giving them the satisfaction of attention or reaction they so thrive either.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005

I like her rules, too.

As for fighting, I don't know if it's just me, but I don't remember there being nearly as many fights and public displays of affection when I was in middle school as I see whenever I sub in middle schools, to say nothing of the things I hear shouted in the hallways in between classes.





iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007

I think it depends on the Middle School.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006

i don't know about the fighting but agree about the public

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006

there is some odd number like,

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005

LOL, ah I love the "happy tackles"!





Avatar for mommy2amani
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

I was going to say the same thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003

Our rules are really for physical bullying (but I did not say that in my post). We have actually dealt with physical stuff on 3 occassions.

As for verbal bullying we have had a few instances of that.

Yea - mostly that can be ignored. There was one girl that was just torturing my son verbally, tattle taling, etc. My son is extremely self confident and he couldn't take it anymore. Kids definitely need to learn how to deal with it. I don't think there are many

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2011

We have a little boy who keeps going after my kindergartner. My DS has been spit at, pushed, shoved and insulted by this boy, but the boy appears to want to be friends with him - he gives him pictures and tries to sit next to him all of the time. We've told DS that he first tells the boy to stop. Then he moves away from the boy and tells him that he's not going to be friends with him if the action continues. (Often the boy follows him after this step.) Next, if it continues, he's supposed to tell his teacher so that his teacher can handle it. He reports the behavior three times and then he has our permission to shove the boy and if necessary hit him to get the message across.

Working in education, there are a lot of kids who don't seem to realize that there are consequences to thier actions and it's not all "funny" or "just for fun." I can't tell you how many times I've heard "I was just messing with him!" as an excuse for bullying - the kids are almost baffled that they got in trouble since "messing" is so common in our culture.

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