Sleepovers

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2013
Sleepovers
13
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 6:08pm

What are your guidelines for sleepovers? DD (5) got invited to a sleepover next weekend. We'll be at my sister's so she can't attend, but even if we weren't going to my sister's, I'm not sure I'd let her attend. I don't feel like I know the parents well enough and five is still awfully little to me. She's slept over at relatives houses before and she has a few friends I wouldn't think twice about letting her sleep over with (both are boys, interestingly enough, which is probably why there hasn't been a sleepover yet). W/all the accomodations that have to be made b/c of her allergies, I really need to KNOW the ppl in charge though, kwim?

Thoughts? Do you all have any hard and fast rules about sleepovers? I'm considerably more flexible w/DS although I still don't think I'd let him stay somewhere I don't know the parents...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2013
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 7:20pm

My kids never slept out at 5 (unless it was a family members house) and my son still has not at age 9 (just has not come up yet but we have had a friend of his sleep over on NYE).

I pretty much know all the parents that my oldest sleeps over from years of school. Her one best friend I know the parents very well and she is always over there. She actually is going to sleep over there tonight. 

We have sleep overs at our house but not as many as she goes to. Just 2 weekends ago she slept over a friends house on Friday night and then the girl came to our house and slept over on Saturday night. 

No boy/girl sleepovers though, especially in the teen age years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2013
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 7:54pm

I'm not ruling anything out yet. As a teen, I had a male best friend and he slept over in college and nothing happened. Come to think of it, he slept over as an adult when I was married (DH was out of town) and nothing happened then either. He really was like a brother to me.

DD's two besties are boys. One has an older brother who is close to DS and I'd totally let him sleep over, esp. if his brother was already over (which happens frequently, DS has sleepovers all. the. time.) It just hasn't come up yet b/c she hasn't asked for many sleepovers--she's only ever asked for her cousin to sleep over. She gets that she's a little young for it.

When my sister visits w/her kids, my nephew who is six mths older than DD usually "sleeps over" in her room one night, at this age, I don't see any difference between the cousin doing it and her two buddies doing it.

DS is at an age where girls are equally fascinating and repulsive. I don't see him asking for mixed gender sleepovers any time soon...but if he has a female friend like I had male friends in high school, I don't know that I'd automatically rule out it. It wasn't until I was a mother that the majority of my friends became female. I already see DD kind of following in that path...

On Wednesdays we wear pink.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 8:03pm

My kids don't have allergies, and I still wouldn't let them stay at a friend's house overnight without knowing the parents extremely well.  They have stayed over at their grandparents' houses before though.

When DH was in middle school, he was friends with all the girls who were my friends, too.  He slept over a couple of times-- nothing inappropriate ever happened.

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 8:29pm

She's in kindergarten right? I think my DDs were in kinder or 1st grade when I started allowing sleepovers, But it was important I knew the parents too. DD1 had a very close friend in kinder through the end of 1st grade when we moved out of the area and I was reall yclose friends with the girl's mom. 

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2013
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 8:29pm
Just finished going out into the wind to drop off dd at a sleepover tonight. lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 8:33pm

reginageorge2005 wrote:
<p>What are your guidelines for sleepovers? DD (5) got invited to a sleepover next weekend. We'll be at my sister's so she can't attend, but even if we weren't going to my sister's, I'm not sure I'd let her attend. I don't feel like I know the parents well enough and five is still awfully little to me. She's slept over at relatives houses before and she has a few friends I wouldn't think twice about letting her sleep over with (both are boys, interestingly enough, which is probably why there hasn't been a sleepover yet). W/all the accomodations that have to be made b/c of her allergies, I really need to KNOW the ppl in charge though, kwim?</p><p>Thoughts? Do you all have any hard and fast rules about sleepovers? I'm considerably more flexible w/DS although I still don't think I'd let him stay somewhere I don't know the parents...</p>

IMO, 5 is WAY too young for a sleepover with casual acquaintances.  I think it should be much closer to 8 or 10 years old (depending on the child).   And that's not even discussing food allergies.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2011
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 8:41pm

puss_boo_kay wrote:
IMO, 5 is WAY too young for a sleepover with casual acquaintances.  I think it should be much closer to 8 or 10 years old (depending on the child).   And that's not even discussing food allergies.

I'm in agreement with this. My kids' sleepovers were limited to close friends whose parents I knew quite well until dd was 7-8, while ds's sleepover social life never really progressed beyond cousins. Same for hosting. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2011
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 8:51pm
Honestly, I don't recall sleepovers really coming up until they were about 9/10ish.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2011
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 8:52pm
"IMO, 5 is WAY too young for a sleepover with casual acquaintances. I think it should be much closer to 8 or 10 years old (depending on the child). And that's not even discussing food allergies."--------------------------------This.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 9:56pm

I have to know the parents pretty well for them to sleep over and my guess is the same is true with my boys. Both of my boys tend to travel in packs, usually there are anywhere from 1-5 over at a time.  Sleepovers are getting less and less with my oldest as all the boys drive and have access to cars.

PumpkinAngel

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