Sleepovers

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2013
Sleepovers
13
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 6:08pm

What are your guidelines for sleepovers? DD (5) got invited to a sleepover next weekend. We'll be at my sister's so she can't attend, but even if we weren't going to my sister's, I'm not sure I'd let her attend. I don't feel like I know the parents well enough and five is still awfully little to me. She's slept over at relatives houses before and she has a few friends I wouldn't think twice about letting her sleep over with (both are boys, interestingly enough, which is probably why there hasn't been a sleepover yet). W/all the accomodations that have to be made b/c of her allergies, I really need to KNOW the ppl in charge though, kwim?

Thoughts? Do you all have any hard and fast rules about sleepovers? I'm considerably more flexible w/DS although I still don't think I'd let him stay somewhere I don't know the parents...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2013
Wed, 03-20-2013 - 11:57am

reginageorge2005 wrote:
<p>What are your guidelines for sleepovers? DD (5) got invited to a sleepover next weekend. We'll be at my sister's so she can't attend, but even if we weren't going to my sister's, I'm not sure I'd let her attend. I don't feel like I know the parents well enough and five is still awfully little to me. She's slept over at relatives houses before and she has a few friends I wouldn't think twice about letting her sleep over with (both are boys, interestingly enough, which is probably why there hasn't been a sleepover yet). W/all the accomodations that have to be made b/c of her allergies, I really need to KNOW the ppl in charge though, kwim?</p><p>Thoughts? Do you all have any hard and fast rules about sleepovers? I'm considerably more flexible w/DS although I still don't think I'd let him stay somewhere I don't know the parents...</p>

I'm right there with you. DD is 4 and her big brother sleeps over a buddy's house at least once a month, so she wants to do it too. But I can't see her relaxing at someone else's house enough to go to sleep, and I wouldn't put it on anyone else to help her. The way I see it, until she's sleeping independently (i.e., can fall asleep whether I tuck her in or not) then she can have friends sleep over here when she's 6, maybe. I honestly can't remember how old DS was when he went on his first sleepover but he's always been more independent than his little sis. I make sure I've seen the house they'll go to, and get a feel for any pets or siblings that may make a sleepover difficult.

I guess I have no hard and fast rule, it just depends on the kid, the "host" family and their home, etc.

Shaking my head at the things grown women get their panties in a wad about.

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Fri, 03-15-2013 - 4:27am
I didn't have any real rules on this, but took it on a case by case basis. A sleepover at 5 is a lot different from a PJ party at 13, and whether I would let my kid go on either would depend on a bunch of things. Mostly I leaned towards letting her go, but I may have balked at a sleepover at 5 with strangers as well. At that age, she usually went to cousins or friends of long standing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2013
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 10:01pm
Did they have sleepovers because they live so far from one another? Just asking as not sure why they would end once they got cars but I am more used to girls who have sleepovers when they are still older.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 9:56pm

I have to know the parents pretty well for them to sleep over and my guess is the same is true with my boys. Both of my boys tend to travel in packs, usually there are anywhere from 1-5 over at a time.  Sleepovers are getting less and less with my oldest as all the boys drive and have access to cars.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2011
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 8:52pm
"IMO, 5 is WAY too young for a sleepover with casual acquaintances. I think it should be much closer to 8 or 10 years old (depending on the child). And that's not even discussing food allergies."--------------------------------This.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2011
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 8:51pm
Honestly, I don't recall sleepovers really coming up until they were about 9/10ish.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2011
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 8:41pm

puss_boo_kay wrote:
IMO, 5 is WAY too young for a sleepover with casual acquaintances.  I think it should be much closer to 8 or 10 years old (depending on the child).   And that's not even discussing food allergies.

I'm in agreement with this. My kids' sleepovers were limited to close friends whose parents I knew quite well until dd was 7-8, while ds's sleepover social life never really progressed beyond cousins. Same for hosting. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 8:33pm

reginageorge2005 wrote:
<p>What are your guidelines for sleepovers? DD (5) got invited to a sleepover next weekend. We'll be at my sister's so she can't attend, but even if we weren't going to my sister's, I'm not sure I'd let her attend. I don't feel like I know the parents well enough and five is still awfully little to me. She's slept over at relatives houses before and she has a few friends I wouldn't think twice about letting her sleep over with (both are boys, interestingly enough, which is probably why there hasn't been a sleepover yet). W/all the accomodations that have to be made b/c of her allergies, I really need to KNOW the ppl in charge though, kwim?</p><p>Thoughts? Do you all have any hard and fast rules about sleepovers? I'm considerably more flexible w/DS although I still don't think I'd let him stay somewhere I don't know the parents...</p>

IMO, 5 is WAY too young for a sleepover with casual acquaintances.  I think it should be much closer to 8 or 10 years old (depending on the child).   And that's not even discussing food allergies.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2013
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 8:29pm
Just finished going out into the wind to drop off dd at a sleepover tonight. lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Thu, 03-14-2013 - 8:29pm

She's in kindergarten right? I think my DDs were in kinder or 1st grade when I started allowing sleepovers, But it was important I knew the parents too. DD1 had a very close friend in kinder through the end of 1st grade when we moved out of the area and I was reall yclose friends with the girl's mom. 

 


 


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