Teaching tolerance to our kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2010
Teaching tolerance to our kids
1822
Mon, 12-27-2010 - 4:06pm

The discussion in the other thread about gay marriage (OK, it wasn’t so much a discussion as an attack on granitestategal, plus the last time I checked it had devolved into mumbling and maniacal laughter...time to move on!) got me to thinking about this new generation of kids and how things have changed for them. Technology has exploded, and kids are more connected than ever before. They’re also disconnected in a whole new way, but this thread isn’t about that. I’d like to know what we are teaching our kids as far as tolerance for other religions, races and lifestyles.

My parents were brought up by parents who were extremely prejudiced against non-Catholics and non-whites. My great-grandparents must not have passed along the lessons they’d learned as immigrants themselves. The town we lived in was predominantly white and Catholic, and up until high school I didn’t know anyone who was black, Jewish, Hispanic, or gay*. When I moved away from home, I was blown away by how different people outside my little world really were, and fascinated by it. I was, and am, determined to raise my kids to respect and appreciate the differences of others and to understand that deep down we really aren’t that different.

A few years ago when DS was 4, we ran into the husband of a co-worker at a music festival. My co-worker is also male. I probably went overboard in my introduction, but I wanted to get the point across that it’s perfectly OK for some families to consist of 2 dads or 2 moms, or one parent, or parents of different races/religions.

Kevali


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2010
Fri, 12-31-2010 - 8:53am

Do you have experience in this? Have they taken down these accounts?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Fri, 12-31-2010 - 8:55am

what i love about my older two kids is talking more, i listen to where they're coming from, what triggered something wrong.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2010
Fri, 12-31-2010 - 8:57am

So they don't lose any privileges? Just strategies? I take away privileges (just like at any age) AND explain what they did wrong and ways they can not lose those privileges again. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. Each child is different and my 2 are totally different so one does the same things over and over and the other "usually" learns the lesson.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2010
Fri, 12-31-2010 - 9:01am

Yep, my dd has de-friended people on her own and has told me. She knows she does not want to involve herself with kids like that. Not sure why the op would take down their entire fb account when they did nothing wrong. I also don't see how a kid is not "ready" for facebook if it is taken away for a punishment. Just like when we were kids we might have had the phone taken away as a punishment. Anything that was "communication" between friends was taken away. My gf has a 15 yr. old dd. She turns her phone off as discipline. Of course she is "ready" for the phone but that is what "gets" her. You have to take something away that teaches them a lesson. Something that affects them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2010
Fri, 12-31-2010 - 9:04am

Exactly. My kids WILL lose a privilege AND be talked to. While I was a really good kid, I remember 2 times that I was "bad" (in my parents eyes at that time-lol!!) and both times the privilege was taken away from me. I remember those things to this day. I was also spoken to about what I did wrong and I did not do it again and understood WHY the privilege was taken away from me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Fri, 12-31-2010 - 10:09am

Talking with our children is key.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2010
Fri, 12-31-2010 - 10:12am

So you think "talking" is discipline?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Fri, 12-31-2010 - 10:21am

again, i was not, LOL.

one last thing about wrong doing and discipline is it varies by child, too.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2010
Fri, 12-31-2010 - 10:25am

I agree. My ds "gets it" most of the time, my dd does not. Punishment and taking away privileges does not mean anything to her unless it is something she REALLY wants. Right now that is fb as that is one of her biggest communications with her friends. As she gets older, maybe it will be privileges to drive. Who knows. We take it day by day and discipline like that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Fri, 12-31-2010 - 10:31am

I always loved listening to stories about my mother and her siblings.





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