Teaching tolerance to our kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2010
Teaching tolerance to our kids
1822
Mon, 12-27-2010 - 4:06pm

The discussion in the other thread about gay marriage (OK, it wasn’t so much a discussion as an attack on granitestategal, plus the last time I checked it had devolved into mumbling and maniacal laughter...time to move on!) got me to thinking about this new generation of kids and how things have changed for them. Technology has exploded, and kids are more connected than ever before. They’re also disconnected in a whole new way, but this thread isn’t about that. I’d like to know what we are teaching our kids as far as tolerance for other religions, races and lifestyles.

My parents were brought up by parents who were extremely prejudiced against non-Catholics and non-whites. My great-grandparents must not have passed along the lessons they’d learned as immigrants themselves. The town we lived in was predominantly white and Catholic, and up until high school I didn’t know anyone who was black, Jewish, Hispanic, or gay*. When I moved away from home, I was blown away by how different people outside my little world really were, and fascinated by it. I was, and am, determined to raise my kids to respect and appreciate the differences of others and to understand that deep down we really aren’t that different.

A few years ago when DS was 4, we ran into the husband of a co-worker at a music festival. My co-worker is also male. I probably went overboard in my introduction, but I wanted to get the point across that it’s perfectly OK for some families to consist of 2 dads or 2 moms, or one parent, or parents of different races/religions.

Kevali


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2010
Mon, 12-27-2010 - 9:42pm
She is a great kid, with a wonderful personality. She is NOT a mark for bullies, that's obvious. You've done fabulous, and she's fabualous. I agree with ya...nothing.to.worry.about.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
Mon, 12-27-2010 - 9:43pm

Oh I get it now..."you mean high END places" yes he has been a executive chef at high end places.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2010
Mon, 12-27-2010 - 9:49pm
This is so ridiculous. Your dd DOES carry herself with confidence...which is something that is NOT appealing to bullies. She knows what she wants, and she works hard to get it. She doesn't concern herself with what others think, so she isn't going to go off some deep end trying to impress *the cool girls*, then get pummeled. I'm sorry that other people's expereinces have been less than stellar, but I think YOUR kid will be just fine.
Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Tue, 12-28-2010 - 2:45am

"and after she finished her daughter looked at her strangely and said "i was just going to say they're awfully OLD to ge married""

ROFL! But that is ageism, you know ;).

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Tue, 12-28-2010 - 3:06am

There was no bullying among dd's large circle of friends and classmates either. Not in MS and HS. There was a bit of a problem in elementary school, but the child doing the bullying had some sort of problem. My own experience was the same actually.

It is not a given, IMO, that middle and high school kids will act like nasty idiots.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2010
Tue, 12-28-2010 - 3:09am

Yes it is sad.

“Clearly," said Arthur,"you're an idiot- but you're our kind of idiot. Come on.” 
― Markus ZusakThe Book Thief

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Tue, 12-28-2010 - 3:09am

I do think the area has quite a bit to do with it, and probably education level too. I think that most kids from homes with some education etc are at this point taking gay parents, interracial couples and even being ogled by brown people in stride. People who think otherwise say more about their own than about prevailing attitudes.

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Tue, 12-28-2010 - 4:06am

I bet you do have nice kids, and you probably also taught them well so that they neither invite nor encourage bullying behavior. IME, it is perfectly possible for middle and high school kids to act decently and kindly and be good to those around them the vast majority of the time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Tue, 12-28-2010 - 7:06am

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2009
Tue, 12-28-2010 - 7:18am

one of my friends here ( a real curmudgeon) was griping about teenagers on FB one day and I said you know -- through my work at the theater and my dd's work at the theater I've gotten to know easily 30 teenagers from local schools and not ONE of them is lazy or mean... are they self centered at times? um sure.

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