Teaching tolerance to our kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2010
Teaching tolerance to our kids
1822
Mon, 12-27-2010 - 4:06pm

The discussion in the other thread about gay marriage (OK, it wasn’t so much a discussion as an attack on granitestategal, plus the last time I checked it had devolved into mumbling and maniacal laughter...time to move on!) got me to thinking about this new generation of kids and how things have changed for them. Technology has exploded, and kids are more connected than ever before. They’re also disconnected in a whole new way, but this thread isn’t about that. I’d like to know what we are teaching our kids as far as tolerance for other religions, races and lifestyles.

My parents were brought up by parents who were extremely prejudiced against non-Catholics and non-whites. My great-grandparents must not have passed along the lessons they’d learned as immigrants themselves. The town we lived in was predominantly white and Catholic, and up until high school I didn’t know anyone who was black, Jewish, Hispanic, or gay*. When I moved away from home, I was blown away by how different people outside my little world really were, and fascinated by it. I was, and am, determined to raise my kids to respect and appreciate the differences of others and to understand that deep down we really aren’t that different.

A few years ago when DS was 4, we ran into the husband of a co-worker at a music festival. My co-worker is also male. I probably went overboard in my introduction, but I wanted to get the point across that it’s perfectly OK for some families to consist of 2 dads or 2 moms, or one parent, or parents of different races/religions.

Kevali


 Photobucket

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Fri, 12-31-2010 - 1:40pm
my mom wasn't really the disciplinarian, dad was. and when mom would say, wait until your father comes home, you knew it was bad. oh, that memory, LOL!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
Fri, 12-31-2010 - 1:40pm

I don't use the word punishment at all when it comes to

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2010
Fri, 12-31-2010 - 1:42pm

What word do you use?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2010
Fri, 12-31-2010 - 1:44pm
For me, an underage child on facebook who was always losing the privilege of having facebook for other issues and has friends who have bullying issues, so much so that the parent is complaining about those bullying issues...sends a clear, clear message to me that this group (including my underage child) is not ready for facebook. I don't expect others to see things in the same way that I do, especially ones that break the rules and allow their underage children on facebook to begin with.

Yes, I understand what you are saying about facebook being the "thing" to use as discipline...but if they are losing it on a frequent basis, that tells me that it's not working for one and two that it may not be as important to them as I think. The whole situation says to me...not ready for facebook and there is a reason that facebook has an age and perhaps as a parent, I was wrong in letting my child or encouraging my child to lie to obtain a profile on facebook. Down goes the facebook until I feel they are ready. Of course it's not an easy thing to do, many of my younger sons friends have facebook and communicate through facebook and while he is mature enough to handle facebook, he is not 13...therefore no faceook. I will not encourage or give permission for my son to lie in order to obtain a facebook profile.

So again, we aren't the same person...I don't care if your child has an underage facebook account, just don't expect me to jump in agreement about all the bullies on facebook because depsite me reviewing my older sons facebook constantly, I simply haven't seen them....but then again, he only friends people he knows, ignoring even those kids who attend his school but he doesn't "know", ignores his younger brothers friends if he doesn't "know" them and he really doesn't know that many bullies to be facebook friends with.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
Fri, 12-31-2010 - 1:46pm
I totally agree with you...
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Fri, 12-31-2010 - 1:50pm

FTR, my child does "get along well" with friends on FB. who she has de-friended are ppl who over and over use profanity and are unkind. one particular girl i mentioned would write - and still does write things like - i was at a football game tonight and saw so and so then would go on in putting them down, use of expletive language, etc. too.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2010
Fri, 12-31-2010 - 1:50pm

Well I can tell you if there was no fb, she would probably lose the use of the phone. For her at this age, communication with friends is important. That does not mean she is not ready to talk on the phone at 12 yrs. old. It is the "thing" that gets to her. When she is older it might be the use of the family car. Who knows. We do discipline and taking away privileges by the age of the child and how the child reacts to the punishment.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2010
Fri, 12-31-2010 - 1:51pm
I agree, I think one of the most important things is communication and not just while disciplining. I love the communication that I have with my children.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2010
Fri, 12-31-2010 - 1:52pm

ITA with you. The people that have been de-friended are ones that are bullying others and ones that are just overall nasty to one another. I know there is one girl who she has not de-friended ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2010
Fri, 12-31-2010 - 1:53pm

Communication should be involved in everything in your children's lives, your marriage, your friendships, your work relationships, etc.

Pages