Teaching tolerance to our kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2010
Teaching tolerance to our kids
1822
Mon, 12-27-2010 - 4:06pm

The discussion in the other thread about gay marriage (OK, it wasn’t so much a discussion as an attack on granitestategal, plus the last time I checked it had devolved into mumbling and maniacal laughter...time to move on!) got me to thinking about this new generation of kids and how things have changed for them. Technology has exploded, and kids are more connected than ever before. They’re also disconnected in a whole new way, but this thread isn’t about that. I’d like to know what we are teaching our kids as far as tolerance for other religions, races and lifestyles.

My parents were brought up by parents who were extremely prejudiced against non-Catholics and non-whites. My great-grandparents must not have passed along the lessons they’d learned as immigrants themselves. The town we lived in was predominantly white and Catholic, and up until high school I didn’t know anyone who was black, Jewish, Hispanic, or gay*. When I moved away from home, I was blown away by how different people outside my little world really were, and fascinated by it. I was, and am, determined to raise my kids to respect and appreciate the differences of others and to understand that deep down we really aren’t that different.

A few years ago when DS was 4, we ran into the husband of a co-worker at a music festival. My co-worker is also male. I probably went overboard in my introduction, but I wanted to get the point across that it’s perfectly OK for some families to consist of 2 dads or 2 moms, or one parent, or parents of different races/religions.

Kevali


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Fri, 12-31-2010 - 5:20pm

I should just follow you around, ITA.

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Fri, 12-31-2010 - 5:22pm

No, I have not done this, since, like you, I think there is a limit to how far I should invade the privacy of my kid and of her friends. I would only do something like that if my kid had a known and serious problem, like drug use, and even then, not necessarily.

Dd points out that when the phone was invented, parents were no doubt quite nervous about what their kids might talk about on the phone. I don't really see FB and messenger etc as all that different, and just as I do not listen in on her phone calls, I also do not read her emails or snoop on her friends' private FB pages.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2010
Fri, 12-31-2010 - 5:23pm
Why would you be sorry that my tween doesn't hang around bullies and tweens who talk about drugs, drinking and all of the other stuff you mentioned?

Why on earth would I want to expose my tween to that type of stuff? I wouldn't consider any of that to be acting mature nor do I want a tween to deal with that type of stuff and "most" of the parents that I know would feel the same way.

Why would someone expose a tween to that type of stuff? I don't understand that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2010
Fri, 12-31-2010 - 5:25pm
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Aww, I'm sorry that you are sad that you don't have plans tonight, can't you guys rent a movie, grab some bubbly or something and celebrate anyway? You can make it special with a few simple plans!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Fri, 12-31-2010 - 5:28pm
Well, my experience with my children is much different than Chubs. I've got two (DD15, DS13) on facebook, and their friends and interactions are age appropriate and no more than PG13 rated. No bullying, no f bombs, some bathroom humor among the boys and a lot of fan squeeing about boys among the girls.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2010
Fri, 12-31-2010 - 5:28pm

I'm lost...what did I say exactly that leads you to believe that I don't think a parent should monitor a child's facebook account...you know since I have said about a dozen times now that I do monitor the account?

I have told you numerous times now, your comment about what I think isn't true, how many more times do I have to tell you that?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2010
Fri, 12-31-2010 - 5:29pm

You know Emptynester, I think that will be my NY resolution as well!!!!

“Clearly," said Arthur,"you're an idiot- but you're our kind of idiot. Come on.” 
― Markus ZusakThe Book Thief

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 12-31-2010 - 5:30pm
Yes, it's different in that you have decided to expose her to online bullying. I agree that it's a parent's job to know what's going on, but I also consider it a parent's job to decide what is age-appropriate, within the limits of the rules FB has established for the site (no kids under 13). So I agree with those who think it's a shame that underage kids are on FB.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2010
Fri, 12-31-2010 - 5:31pm
Okay, so not friends with the dd, are these underage kids who talk like this are friends of you and your dh? How do you know these underage kids who are posting the thinks you listed below? Why would you be friends with underage kids that are not friends of your dd?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2010
Fri, 12-31-2010 - 5:31pm
I totally understand what you are assuming, it isn't logical given the facebook rules.

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