Thorn in your side Tuesday

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Thorn in your side Tuesday
420
Tue, 10-07-2014 - 9:40am

Admit it, There's always going to be somebody, something or something somebody does or says that bothers you.  When that happens how do you deal with it 

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 10-08-2014 - 5:15pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p>He has but again, you don't get it and obviously and luckiy have never had to deal with someone like this before.</p>

The difference is that we are acting or reacting differently than you are, therefore we have different results.  You can't control the person but you guys can control yourself and your actions.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 10-08-2014 - 5:17pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p>So only being accused of murder it is allowed? SMH</p><p>Again, it is not something I bring up every day or even talk about. If it IS brought up though, it DOES erk me as this person needs to get over it. Other people have told her, after getting to know me that they don't think it is true either. This person goes back to the past ALL.THE.TIME in conversation, even asked not to. To the point of ignoring texts and having to tell them to stop on the phone and they hanging up on you.</p>

Until you get over it, nothing will change.  This is a pattern that repeats itself over and over in discussion here and has for years, your actions and the actions of the other person have not changed....so why are you expecting a different result?  

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 10-08-2014 - 5:18pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p>You know that other people have told her.. that means you're talking about it with someone. You are still engaging. It won't end until you stop.</p><p>I really can not avoid it.</p>

Sure you can, unless they have tied you to a chair or something...are people forcing you to call them and talk to them about this on a regular basis?  Is that what is happening...you are forced against your will to partipate in discussions and forced to remain while people talk to you about this subject?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 10-08-2014 - 5:19pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p>Wait a minute.... she hangs up on you? Why do you let it go that far?</p><p>Where did I say they hung up on me?</p>

In this previous post, you specifically said;  ""To the point of ignoring texts and having to tell them to stop on the phone and they hanging up on you.""


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 10-08-2014 - 5:20pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><strong>"To the point of ignoring texts and having to tell them to stop on the phone and they hanging up on you."</strong></p><p>Not gonna play this game today. You said that she hangs up "on you".</p><p><strong>No, I did not.</strong></p><p>Were you talking about your husband then, if not yourself? Same question.... why does he let it get to that point? I can only assume that you (and hubby) like the drama as much as she does, or that it's really not that big of a deal.</p><p><strong>We do not like drama and don't live in the past. We have too much going on to deal with that but that doesn't mean that others bring it up all the time.</strong></p>

Then why are you spending time with these "others"?  Walk away until they learn to stop bringing it up all the time.  

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2010
Wed, 10-08-2014 - 5:41pm

pumpkinangel wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">blackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div>&lt;div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;div style="text-align:left"&gt;That doesn't mean they are a big part of your life, especially since you keep telling us that you don't see or talk to this person.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="text-align:left"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="text-align:left"&gt;They are and always will be because of the other person.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</blockquote></p><p>Then that is the choice of you two, why would you expect anything different when you aren't willing to handle the situation differently?  </p>

And I would add to Molly--what Dr. Phil says.  Is that working for you?  It doesn't seem to be.

“Clearly," said Arthur,"you're an idiot- but you're our kind of idiot. Come on.” 
― Markus ZusakThe Book Thief

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2013
Wed, 10-08-2014 - 7:15pm

What on earth did you do to pisss her off?  Fake a pregnancy or something?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Wed, 10-08-2014 - 7:22pm
blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p>He has but again, you don't get it and obviously and luckiy have never had to deal with someone like this before.</p>

The difference is that we are acting or reacting differently than you are, therefore we have different results.  You can't control the person but you guys can control yourself and your actions.

The difference is, I am SURE you have never dealt with someone like this, ever. We have controlled our actions to the point that contact is far and few between BUT there still WILL be contact and unfortunately many times the past is brought up because that is the other person's m.o. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Wed, 10-08-2014 - 7:24pm

Until you get over it, nothing will change.  This is a pattern that repeats itself over and over in discussion here and has for years, your actions and the actions of the other person have not changed....so why are you expecting a different result?  

What you are not understanding is that, the pattern is NO fault of our own. There is no action to start it and the action to try and stop it doesn't always work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Wed, 10-08-2014 - 7:27pm

    Sure you can, unless they have tied you to a chair or something...are people forcing you to call them and talk to them about this on a regular basis?  Is that what is happening...you are forced against your will to partipate in discussions and forced to remain while people talk to you about this subject?

    I feel like a broken record. Did you read when I say they are told to stop and sometimes don't? Did you not read that there wants to be a relationship there? 

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