Thorn in your side Tuesday

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Thorn in your side Tuesday
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Tue, 10-07-2014 - 9:40am

Admit it, There's always going to be somebody, something or something somebody does or says that bothers you.  When that happens how do you deal with it 

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Thu, 10-09-2014 - 12:44pm
    blackandwhitemolly wrote:
    <p><span>Exactly, Lauren1063. </span></p><p><span>Molly, you've repeatedly said that you ask her to stop. Don't ask again, simply walk away. Don't talk to your sister, your sil, or anyone else about it. Don't let them talk to you about it. If you've already communicated that, then you can walk away from them too.</span></p><p><span>Sigh....I dont speak to her. I dont speak about it outside of the person speaking to her, except for right here, right now. I have no choice when I am right there. You cant miss it.</span></p>

    You do have a choice. You can say NOTHING. to anyone.  You do have that choice.

    I was telling a story and answering the question. One story out of a ton.

    iVillage Member
    Registered: 08-13-2013
    Thu, 10-09-2014 - 12:47pm

    blackandwhitemolly wrote:
    <div style="color:#111111; font-family:Arial, Helvetica, Helvetica, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size:13px; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:normal; text-align:left; text-indent:0px; text-transform:none; background-color:#ffffff"><div><ul></ul></div></div><div style="border-bottom-color:#cccccc; border-bottom-width:1px; border-bottom-style:solid; color:#111111; font-family:Arial, Helvetica, Helvetica, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size:13px; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:normal; text-align:left; text-indent:0px; text-transform:none; background-color:#ffffff"><div><div><div><blockquote><div style="font-weight:bold"><em>blackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span&gt;Exactly, Lauren1063. &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;span&gt;Molly, you've repeatedly said that you ask her to stop. Don't ask again, simply walk away. Don't talk to your sister, your sil, or anyone else about it. Don't let them talk to you about it. If you've already communicated that, then you can walk away from them too.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;span&gt;Sigh....I dont speak to her. I dont speak about it outside of the person speaking to her, except for right here, right now. I have no choice when I am right there. You cant miss it.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote><p>You do have a choice. You can say NOTHING. to anyone.  You do have that choice.</p><p>I was telling a story and answering the question. One story out of a ton.</p></div></div></div></div>

    You're not making any sense.

    iVillage Member
    Registered: 12-22-2013
    Thu, 10-09-2014 - 12:47pm

      For what ever it is that she thinks you've done.

      Nope. I am not going to give her the satisfaction to go around and lie about my morals and ethics and call me what she did again.

      iVillage Member
      Registered: 08-13-2013
      Thu, 10-09-2014 - 12:52pm

      You may not think that you did anything wrong, but from her perspective, you did. It's your choice not to apologize, but it seems to me that your dh is the one paying the price.  

      Avatar for jamblessedthree
      iVillage Member
      Registered: 10-23-2001
      Thu, 10-09-2014 - 12:59pm

      blackandwhitemolly wrote:
      <p><span>But what do you want to happen? What actions do you want taken?</span></p><p>The action of this person to have a normal relationship that takes place in the present and not bring up bad things from the past.</p>

      And that may never happen b/c to her "normal" is her vindictive and bitter ways and attacks at/about you and about others.  I get it and I get that they live hard and difficult lives, My MIL's history is actually sad. 

      The other day I, gasped, asked about my husband's mother b/c I knew it was her birthday, Whatever possessed me to ask I have no clue...  Lol. 

       

       

      iVillage Member
      Registered: 06-27-1998
      Thu, 10-09-2014 - 1:00pm

      blackandwhitemolly wrote:
      <p>Thanks Lauren but unless you are on the other line, you dont see how this is handled. Things from 30 years are brought up too so not just this. Is it everytime? Nope but it mentioned again and again. I do not speak to this person anymore and dont plan to unless I really have to.</p>

      You don't speak to this person and you don't see others that speak about it....so how exaclty is it still in your life?  

      PumpkinAngel

      iVillage Member
      Registered: 06-27-1998
      Thu, 10-09-2014 - 1:02pm

      blackandwhitemolly wrote:
      <p><span>Exactly, Lauren1063. </span></p><p><span>Molly, you've repeatedly said that you ask her to stop. Don't ask again, simply walk away. Don't talk to your sister, your sil, or anyone else about it. Don't let them talk to you about it. If you've already communicated that, then you can walk away from them too.</span></p><p><span>Sigh....I dont speak to her. I dont speak about it outside of the person speaking to her, except for right here, right now. I have no choice when I am right there. You cant miss it.</span></p>

      You aren't making any sense because earlier you said it was being brought up every few months or so, but you don't see this person, you don't speak about it outside of this perons, you don't see other people who speak about it....so why on earth is it still such an issue with you that you can't move past this issue?

      PumpkinAngel

      iVillage Member
      Registered: 06-27-1998
      Thu, 10-09-2014 - 1:04pm

      blackandwhitemolly wrote:
      <div style="color:#111111; font-family:Arial, Helvetica, Helvetica, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size:13px; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:normal; text-align:left; text-indent:0px; text-transform:none; background-color:#ffffff"><div><ul></ul></div></div><div style="border-bottom-color:#cccccc; border-bottom-width:1px; border-bottom-style:solid; color:#111111; font-family:Arial, Helvetica, Helvetica, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size:13px; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:normal; text-align:left; text-indent:0px; text-transform:none; background-color:#ffffff"><div><div><div><p>For what ever it is that she thinks you've done.</p><p>Nope. I am not going to give her the satisfaction to go around and lie about my morals and ethics and call me what she did again.</p></div></div></div></div>

      That's what this is all about, she called you a name?   Who the freak cares at this point, 20 years later?  Why are you giving her the power to be irked and talk about it all the time?

      PumpkinAngel

      iVillage Member
      Registered: 06-27-1998
      Thu, 10-09-2014 - 1:04pm

      iamvelma wrote:
      <p>You may not think that you did anything wrong, but from her perspective, you did. It's your choice not to apologize, but it seems to me that your dh is the one paying the price.  </p>

      ...and perhaps the kids?

      PumpkinAngel

      Avatar for jamblessedthree
      iVillage Member
      Registered: 10-23-2001
      Thu, 10-09-2014 - 1:06pm
      An apology would assume Molly did something wrong... Perhaps you can explain what that is since you "get it" more than her..

       

       

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