Thorn in your side Tuesday
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Thorn in your side Tuesday
| Tue, 10-07-2014 - 9:40am |
Admit it, There's always going to be somebody, something or something somebody does or says that bothers you. When that happens how do you deal with it

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You are in the same room when your dh talks to her or in the same room with her? Why your dh needs to share with you something that hurts you is something that I don't understand. Why would he share something that he knows will hurt you? Of course, you are his savior from those horrible people that you don't want a relationship with but still want to try over and over again, despite the pain that it costs your family, you are just a victim!! baer.
Really? I guess you don't get that my house is just a little small and that you hear everything lololol AND as I said before, he is NOT going to share that type of info with me. It doesn't "hurt" me, it bothers me that someone would continue with such crap after so many years and still believe that they are right. Guess it must be the bullying trait in this person and that they are a stubborn Italian. lol.
Okay...almost 30 years, insert eye roll here. 17+30=47 and you are in your 40's. But way to miss the point molly, again. See, this is why I have a hard time believing the complete innocence on your part. I can imagine talking with you can be as frustrating in real life as it is here at times.
PumpkinAngel
Molly - Some links you might find interesting. Seriously, there's some good stuff here.
"Sometimes, though, you may want to smooth things over despite the feeling you did nothing wrong." http://everydaylife.globalpost.com/apologize-taking-blame-10994.html
"“Apologizing does not always mean that you’re wrong and the other person is right. It just means that you value your relationship more than your ego.”—Positive Outlooks" http://www.crosswalk.com/faith/women/apologizing-when-you-ve-done-nothing-wrong.html
"Apologizing when you’re not wrong doesn’t mean you’re submissive or weak. It truly means the opposite. You’re strong enough and confident enough in your dignity to take the fall because you know it’s best. You know that it will only help your relationship and enable you and your partner to move on. " http://collectivelifestyle.com/why-you-should-apologize-when-youre-not-wrong/
"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1
Aaaaand, there it is.
"I saved him."
Ah huh...relationships are two way streets and if you can't expect to have a relationship when boths sides aren't willing to do the work and given that you have said they don't know or care...that speaks volumes.
PumpkinAngel
See? There's your problem. You want THEM to act differently. You can't change another person's actions. You can only change your own actions and reactions.
And, as the saying goes "The people in hell want ice water too."
Yep and my actions HAVE changed that I no longer allow them to walk all over me. I don't have a relationship with them and unfortuanately there is not a huge one with my dh. Sad but true and that is because THEY will never change.
That is not nice, I can't believe your dh would do that to you over and over and over again. You need to tell him to stop, that would help this situation in the long run, he is making it worse by continuing to keep telling you these negative things.
PumpkinAngel
Good advice Sav.
PumpkinAngel
But the fact that they haven't changed their actions continues to cause you distress. So quit expecting them to behave better. And maybe you won't have any more distress about it!
"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1
So, the kids ARE paying the price for this rift.
Not really. This is actually the best thing for them NOT to have a relationship.
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