Thorn in your side Tuesday

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Thorn in your side Tuesday
420
Tue, 10-07-2014 - 9:40am

Admit it, There's always going to be somebody, something or something somebody does or says that bothers you.  When that happens how do you deal with it 

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Thu, 10-09-2014 - 4:40pm

Yes I do read, you were talking about someone who's bad bringing it up to someone every few months & sometimes phones were involved.  Now later in the thread you've said your mil & dh.  Ok, then you talk about your house & smallness, so I guessed wrong.  You didn't answer the question about how your dh defends you. 

I did but you would have to actually read my past posts.

There is definitately a culture difference in different parts of the country, your part included.  My dh talks to and deals with people differently here than there. 

I am sure but we are ALL not the same and again, the person I am talking about does not live near me and is around different types of people (according to your logic).

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Thu, 10-09-2014 - 4:42pm

I don't think PA ever said a child should be treated like an adult.  But as children grow into teens and adults they have more responsiblity to continue the relationship--if they have one.  And if they do not, there are plenty of adults who seek out relatives from a side of the family they were shut out of due to divorce or distance or problems because they feel the need to get to know other family members.  That may never happen with your kids, but they "might" want to and it would be their responsiblity as adults to do that.

And I never said I have or would stand in the way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2010
Thu, 10-09-2014 - 4:43pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p>That is so funny, You'd never see a cell phone in my dad's hand or him texting, Lol. But I marvel at his interest in my kid's school work, esp pre-calculus b/c he used to teach it, She is carrying an A in it but I've encouraged her to pick up the phone and still call him for some tips and advice. </p>

And my mom doesn't even have a smartphone.  She is texting with an old phone, no Qwerty keyboard.  

“Clearly," said Arthur,"you're an idiot- but you're our kind of idiot. Come on.” 
― Markus ZusakThe Book Thief

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2010
Thu, 10-09-2014 - 4:48pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p>Yes I do read, you were talking about someone who's bad bringing it up to someone every few months &amp; sometimes phones were involved.  Now later in the thread you've said your mil &amp; dh.  Ok, then you talk about your house &amp; smallness, so I guessed wrong.  You didn't answer the question about how your dh defends you. </p><p><strong>I did but you would have to actually read my past posts.</strong></p><p>There is definitately a culture difference in different parts of the country, your part included.  My dh talks to and deals with people differently here than there. </p><p><strong>I am sure but we are ALL not the same and again, the person I am talking about does not live near me and is around different types of people (according to your logic).</strong></p>

Ok never mind.  200 posts of "you are not reading my posts" without actually adding any information is tres boring.  

I'm sorry you can't understand logic and that different parts of the country have different cultures.  Maybe you haven't traveled enough.  (Another boring topic where you explain you have been on many cruises).  And I never said all people adapt to the  local culture when they move.  Some do, some don't.  No all or nothing thinking here. 

“Clearly," said Arthur,"you're an idiot- but you're our kind of idiot. Come on.” 
― Markus ZusakThe Book Thief

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Thu, 10-09-2014 - 4:51pm

And my mom doesn't even have a smartphone.  She is texting with an old phone, no Qwerty keyboard.  

Wow, I am impressed.  Not even I learned the old way to text as I went straight to texting keyboard style when I upgraded my phone to an iphone, Lol.   

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Thu, 10-09-2014 - 4:51pm

Ok never mind.  200 posts of "you are not reading my posts" without actually adding any information is tres boring.

I did post it. Sorry you don't find the need to find it.

 I'm sorry you can't understand logic and that different parts of the country have different cultures.  Maybe you haven't traveled enough.  (Another boring topic where you explain you have been on many cruises).  And I never said all people adapt to the  local culture when they move.  Some do, some don't.  No all or nothing thinking here.

AND I have explained that the "culture" where my MIL is not the same, in your definition because she doesn't live near me or where your dh's family comes from. So I guess she just hasn't adapted after 22 years SMH.

Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Thu, 10-09-2014 - 4:54pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">blackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;Yes my mom had to learn how to text, so she can keep up with my kids.  : )   They just all talk &amp;amp; text directly now. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;My mom does not text but my kids will pick up the phone or email her at any time.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>Neither does my dad.  He used to email and I wish he still did.  </p>

I loved that my dad got involved with FB in  his last few years.   It was kinda fun.  He also ended up friending and developing relationships with several of my friends that he'd never met.  One of whom is a Banshee!

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 10-09-2014 - 4:57pm

<<I never said otherwise. I would think in most cases that there was a reason why they didn't have one in the first place and it is usually the adults fault and never wanted to have one.>>

Yes, you did...you said you can't ask an older child to start something and I'm saying sure you can.  It doesn't matter the reasons or excuses, you can certainly ask an older chlid to start a relationship if they want one where one doesn't exsist.  

<<Neither do mine and this person is basically a stranger to them, BECAUSE of the actions of that person, not THEM.>>

If you can hear what she is saying to your dh on the phone in your little house, why can't your kids?  I'm not interested in the actions of others and placing blame as you are, if the child wants a relationship, I would highly encourage them to reach out, even if they were basically strangers.

<<A child should not be treated like an adult and an adult should be putting a child FIRST over their own selfish needs.>>

Nobody said anything about treating a child like an adult.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 10-09-2014 - 5:00pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p>That is so funny, You'd never see a cell phone in my dad's hand or him texting, Lol. But I marvel at his interest in my kid's school work, esp pre-calculus b/c he used to teach it, She is carrying an A in it but I've encouraged her to pick up the phone and still call him for some tips and advice. </p>

My kids also spend a lot of time with their grandparents, in addition to texting.  They both routinely are over there without us and with us, plus they call and ask for advice on different things. 

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 10-09-2014 - 5:02pm

savcal2011 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">pumpkinangel</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"&gt;&lt;div class="quote-author"&gt;&lt;em class="placeholder"&gt;savcal2011&lt;/em&gt; wrote:&lt;/div&gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"&amp;gt;&amp;lt;div class="quote-author"&amp;gt;&amp;lt;em class="placeholder"&amp;gt;pumpkinangel&amp;lt;/em&amp;gt; wrote:&amp;lt;/div&amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"&amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;div class="quote-author"&amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;em class="placeholder"&amp;amp;gt;litlmiss_cantbewrong&amp;amp;lt;/em&amp;amp;gt; wrote:&amp;amp;lt;/div&amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;lt;blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"&amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;lt;div class="quote-author"&amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;lt;em class="placeholder"&amp;amp;amp;gt;jamblessedthree&amp;amp;amp;lt;/em&amp;amp;amp;gt; wrote:&amp;amp;amp;lt;/div&amp;amp;amp;gt;I can't imagine a child willfully chosing to not have a relationship with a grandparent. I have wonderful memories of my grandmother, Those aren't b/c of my parents or my siblings or anybody else, Lol. I think grandparents have the power to really form that with young children. This idea that a child show that, what is it a child is doing to form that, etc. seems odd to me.&amp;amp;amp;lt;/blockquote&amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;gt;I think when children are small, it is definiately on the grandparent to make an effort to form and keep the relationship.  If they can't be bothered then not much of a relationship develops.  But as they get to teens, the children can take some effort to continue the relationship.  At the least to call grandparents (or write notes) to thank them for gifts sent by mail. &amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;/blockquote&amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;gt;My children have a relationship with their grandparents where I'm not really involved, they talk and communicate with each other and have for years without me.  They have developed their relationship together, just as I did as a child with my relatives.&amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;gt;&amp;lt;/blockquote&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;Tangential thought:   I was thinking how sometimes my kids will text my mom and I don't even know about the conversation. I love that.    but then that made me think about how my kids will sometimes have a conversation, via text or FB or whatever, with *MY* friends, or with the parents of their friends.  By the same token, I have conversations with my kids' friends.   I love that we're all able to form our own individual relationships, even though that relationshipt started through someone else.&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;I love that and totally agree!  I think it is funny that one of my kids talks to my brother way more than I do, lol.&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>I'm having lunch with The Girl's two best friends next week. Without The Girl.  </p>

That's great.  Ds2 and I were talking about college and if he ends up in your area, he was happy that he would always know a great place to get a home cooked meal!

PumpkinAngel

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