Time to move on

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Time to move on
405
Sun, 04-27-2014 - 1:47pm

1. How many times have you moved?

2. Will this week be busy for you?

3. Do you have Mother's day plans yet?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 04-28-2014 - 8:19pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p>How important is self reliance to you cantbewrong? I am genuinely interested b/c I think it means different things to different people. If somebody is raised to be self reliant it could mean s/he relies so much on self to do things, to get things done that there is no room for compromise or anybody else's input, OTOH it could mean that - if the situation presented itself - s/he could still handle things after a death or a divorce, Thirdly (which I hope most people fall under) there is a balance b/w being able to handle it on your own and having a good support network too. Frankly, the third doesn't require you to live on your own first however, at least not in my opinion.</p>

Not everyone is capable of living alone, just like not everyone is capable of living with others.  I plan to encourage my kids to live on their own, it is an experience that is worth having, imo which is what I think can'tbewrong is saying.  

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Mon, 04-28-2014 - 10:36pm

Do you even realize that there are many women who have never lived by theirselves and have a hard time when forced at some point to live on their own due to death or divorce...someitmes they cannot support themselves and sometimes it isn't all about money.  It's called self-reliance.  

Ummmm...yep I do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Mon, 04-28-2014 - 10:41pm

How did you learn to support yourself when you had either your parents or your dh living with you and sharing the living space?

How not?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Mon, 04-28-2014 - 10:43pm

Then there's that..  Why?  And if mom would be so disappointed if said child never lived on their own first where else is she disappointed.  Conditions and all that.....

Makes no sense to me. I guess they feel people who dont live alone could never do it or rely on someone else to pay the bills. SMH.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Mon, 04-28-2014 - 11:10pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span>Then there's that..  Why?  And if mom would be so disappointed if said child never lived on their own first where else is she disappointed.  Conditions and all that.....</span></p><p><span>Makes no sense to me. I guess they feel people who dont live alone could never do it or rely on someone else to pay the bills. SMH.</span></p>
.  It's not all about $$$. We're not all Marxists.

Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Mon, 04-28-2014 - 11:16pm
It's one thing to know, intellectually, what it takes to support oneself. It's another to actually do it. Like changing a tire -- you can know that you're supposed to put the jack under the finder, remove the lugnuts, etc. it's quite another to actually be able to successfully change a tire.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2013
Tue, 04-29-2014 - 12:44am

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span>Then there's that..  Why?  And if mom would be so disappointed if said child never lived on their own first where else is she disappointed.  Conditions and all that.....</span></p><p><span>Makes no sense to me. I guess they feel people who dont live alone could never do it or rely on someone else to pay the bills. SMH.</span></p>

for me, it's got nothing to do with the money and has to do with the ability to be comfortable in one's own skin and WITHOUT needing a partner to be happy/content/satisfied.  If a child hasn't ever BEEN on his/her own, it's difficult to claim they would be able to live on their own.  Not impossible; I'm sure there will always be a tiny minority of young adults who are just able to know who and what they are, apart from some other identity like "wife" without living alone.  But most people need time to explore their own self-identity before they can take on roles that include more than one person.

Certainly it's not difficult to understand how, if a young adult has spent some time living on his or her own, she's going to be a LOT less likely to turn into the type of middle aged woman whose go-to snappy one liner is generally some kind of insult to those who have never married.

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Tue, 04-29-2014 - 5:15am

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span>Then there's that..  Why?  And if mom would be so disappointed if said child never lived on their own first where else is she disappointed.  Conditions and all that.....</span></p><p><span>Makes no sense to me. I guess they feel people who dont live alone could never do it or rely on someone else to pay the bills. SMH.</span></p>

Or that you're stuck in a cage and only get out to work.  Lol. 

 


 


Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Tue, 04-29-2014 - 5:38am
I can't change a tire but I know who to call if I get a flat.

 


 


Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Tue, 04-29-2014 - 5:55am

grapthars_hammer wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">blackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span&gt;Then there's that..  Why?  And if mom would be so disappointed if said child never lived on their own first where else is she disappointed.  Conditions and all that.....&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;span&gt;Makes no sense to me. I guess they feel people who dont live alone could never do it or rely on someone else to pay the bills. SMH.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>for me, it's got nothing to do with the money and has to do with the ability to be comfortable in one's own skin and WITHOUT needing a partner to be happy/content/satisfied.  If a child hasn't ever BEEN on his/her own, it's difficult to claim they would be able to live on their own.  Not impossible; I'm sure there will always be a tiny minority of young adults who are just able to know who and what they are, apart from some other identity like "wife" without living alone.  But most people need time to explore their own self-identity before they can take on roles that include more than one person.</p><p>Certainly it's not difficult to understand how, if a young adult has spent some time living on his or her own, she's going to be a LOT less likely to turn into the type of middle aged woman whose go-to snappy one liner is generally some kind of insult to those who have never married.</p>

Or maybe she's happier and more comfortable around others than you.  The fact that she has never lived alone is nothing less than the attacks at her for it. 

 


 


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