Toddler discipline

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Toddler discipline
881
Fri, 10-29-2004 - 9:18am
Okay. Let me start off by saying that I swatted Aspen on the behind yesterday and I am none too happy about it.

I was NOT going to be a parent who spanked...and then this horrible toddler-itis reared it's ugly head and I just don't know what to do! I am looking for advice, anything that *works*.

Scenario: Aspen's been kicking me during diaper changes since before Vivi was born. She's too big for the changing table, so changes take place on the floor or the bed and she is always kicking all over the place. So, for months, I've been working with the firm "NO!" and holding her legs still. That worked for a little while. Then, it was "No, you are hurting mommy." That never seemed to get through. So, yesterday, I told her, "Stop kicking or I'm going to spank your bottom." and she wouldn't stop so I swatted her one. She cried and I felt nothing but a rush of confusion...."What am I doing? She's just going to learn to hit! I am awful!" And on and on.

I seriously cannot think of anything else to do! It's not the kicking itself that's a major problem...it's that she is willfully, knowingly, still kicking when told not to. I know she is just asserting herself, but she needs to learn to listen, right? I can't put her in "timeout" (because where would I put her? In her crib? Do I want her to associate the crib with punishment?) I can't take away a toy because the value/association is not there yet.

Need advice! I am SUCH a newbie! Dh and I are both like, "What do we do?" We don't know! Oh, life was a lot easier for my parents! Just spank 'em and be done...none of this all-consuming self-doubt.

Meldi

Meldi

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: meldi
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 1:17pm
They both have head colds now :( Usually, my 5 year old wakes up to use the potty (and when getting sick).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: meldi
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 1:21pm
No.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: meldi
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 1:26pm
How do you define sleep deprived?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: meldi
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 1:28pm
Unable to function at peak efficiency consistently due solely to fatigue.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: meldi
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 1:40pm
Because you keep describing typical children, not children with sleep problems. And they are 3 and 5 and you are still stressing occassional "night wakings". Adapt, already! Come on. I get the definite impression that there is absolutely positively no way in the world you would consider aquiring a puppy that would force you to give up sleep for months...nay...years on end. Yet the world is positively full of people who opt exactly for that. Over and over and over again. Willingly. By choice. And the decision just makes their lives - better and they resent - noone. Dog or human. You have to just accept, you, persoanlly, are very likely, way way down on the rigid end of the flexibility spectrum wrt to at least sleep requirements. And that the strategy you deem necessary isn't adressing your childrens exceptionally difficult nature, but your particularily inflexible one.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
In reply to: meldi
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 1:52pm

Well said.

Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
In reply to: meldi
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 1:53pm

I don't go back to sleep well without adult interaction; I can't fault my kids for doing the same thing.


When I get up at night to go potty or blow my nose, or wake up because of natural wakings, I go back to sleep much quicker and deeper when Allen is there with me. I can reach over and be comforted by his presence. Sometimes he'll be awake too and we'll whisper a few sweet nothings or he'll change positions and we'll spoon or whatever .. but that human interaction seriously helps me get back to sleep on many occasions. Why is it so wrong for a child to need the same thing?



Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: meldi
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 1:54pm
Again, correct.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: meldi
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 1:57pm

Well, I'm 39.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: meldi
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 1:58pm
You accept being exhausted much more readily than I do.

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