Toddler discipline
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| Fri, 10-29-2004 - 9:18am |
I was NOT going to be a parent who spanked...and then this horrible toddler-itis reared it's ugly head and I just don't know what to do! I am looking for advice, anything that *works*.
Scenario: Aspen's been kicking me during diaper changes since before Vivi was born. She's too big for the changing table, so changes take place on the floor or the bed and she is always kicking all over the place. So, for months, I've been working with the firm "NO!" and holding her legs still. That worked for a little while. Then, it was "No, you are hurting mommy." That never seemed to get through. So, yesterday, I told her, "Stop kicking or I'm going to spank your bottom." and she wouldn't stop so I swatted her one. She cried and I felt nothing but a rush of confusion...."What am I doing? She's just going to learn to hit! I am awful!" And on and on.
I seriously cannot think of anything else to do! It's not the kicking itself that's a major problem...it's that she is willfully, knowingly, still kicking when told not to. I know she is just asserting herself, but she needs to learn to listen, right? I can't put her in "timeout" (because where would I put her? In her crib? Do I want her to associate the crib with punishment?) I can't take away a toy because the value/association is not there yet.
Need advice! I am SUCH a newbie! Dh and I are both like, "What do we do?" We don't know! Oh, life was a lot easier for my parents! Just spank 'em and be done...none of this all-consuming self-doubt.
Meldi

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Well said.
I don't go back to sleep well without adult interaction; I can't fault my kids for doing the same thing.
When I get up at night to go potty or blow my nose, or wake up because of natural wakings, I go back to sleep much quicker and deeper when Allen is there with me. I can reach over and be comforted by his presence. Sometimes he'll be awake too and we'll whisper a few sweet nothings or he'll change positions and we'll spoon or whatever .. but that human interaction seriously helps me get back to sleep on many occasions. Why is it so wrong for a child to need the same thing?
Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.
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Well, I'm 39.
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