Toddler discipline
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| Fri, 10-29-2004 - 9:18am |
I was NOT going to be a parent who spanked...and then this horrible toddler-itis reared it's ugly head and I just don't know what to do! I am looking for advice, anything that *works*.
Scenario: Aspen's been kicking me during diaper changes since before Vivi was born. She's too big for the changing table, so changes take place on the floor or the bed and she is always kicking all over the place. So, for months, I've been working with the firm "NO!" and holding her legs still. That worked for a little while. Then, it was "No, you are hurting mommy." That never seemed to get through. So, yesterday, I told her, "Stop kicking or I'm going to spank your bottom." and she wouldn't stop so I swatted her one. She cried and I felt nothing but a rush of confusion...."What am I doing? She's just going to learn to hit! I am awful!" And on and on.
I seriously cannot think of anything else to do! It's not the kicking itself that's a major problem...it's that she is willfully, knowingly, still kicking when told not to. I know she is just asserting herself, but she needs to learn to listen, right? I can't put her in "timeout" (because where would I put her? In her crib? Do I want her to associate the crib with punishment?) I can't take away a toy because the value/association is not there yet.
Need advice! I am SUCH a newbie! Dh and I are both like, "What do we do?" We don't know! Oh, life was a lot easier for my parents! Just spank 'em and be done...none of this all-consuming self-doubt.
Meldi

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Yes, for the record I would have. . .and have. . .adapted to having a child who went to sleep earlier and woke up earlier.
9 pm is not early for a baby.
I mean, as in 7 pm.
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Uh, she's 6 1/2 years old. . .she's not a baby.
I edited my reply while you were replying to it.
And why would her sister's bedtime have to be adapted to coincide with a 7pm bedtime for her?
While we ate dinner earlier. . .at 5-5:30 pm, her sister didn't go to sleep earlier just because Gillie did.
Edited to add:
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When my kids awaken at night, I don't ignore them out of a desire to get back to sleep since it's so rare.
DOes it make for better parenting to allow an awakened 3 yr-old into the parents' bed so he can get back to sleep? Or is it still good parenting to snuggle and get the child back to bed without leaving his room? That's what I do. I usually use the rocking chair, even with my 3 yr-old, if she needs to be held.
undisturbed sleep
unstructured eating schedules
veggies and rice as a diner staple
condo living
downtown living
cycling
including a cycling, running and swimming workout all in the same day
working out at work
going to grownup movies on a regular basis
going to grownup anything on a regular basis
my rx7
riding my motorcycle
wall decor that involved mick jaggers image - or well - a good number of other attractive male images
free reign over whats playing on the dvd
the option of ever having sex that invoved mystery and discovery of a brand new man ever ever ever again
my dogless state
my ratless state
my gerbiless life
my mouse free existence
any hope of every having more than 3 cats
and much more I'm sure...just for the sheer pleasure and delight of having a loving family with which to share my life. What was that first thing again?
You are still trying hard...but most parents aren't night people and they don't have your difficulties. It doesn't take "becomming a night person" anymore than lossing weight requires "becoming an athlete". All in all...fairly minor adjustments are required. The biggest road block to either - is the mental one.
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