Toddler discipline
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| Fri, 10-29-2004 - 9:18am |
I was NOT going to be a parent who spanked...and then this horrible toddler-itis reared it's ugly head and I just don't know what to do! I am looking for advice, anything that *works*.
Scenario: Aspen's been kicking me during diaper changes since before Vivi was born. She's too big for the changing table, so changes take place on the floor or the bed and she is always kicking all over the place. So, for months, I've been working with the firm "NO!" and holding her legs still. That worked for a little while. Then, it was "No, you are hurting mommy." That never seemed to get through. So, yesterday, I told her, "Stop kicking or I'm going to spank your bottom." and she wouldn't stop so I swatted her one. She cried and I felt nothing but a rush of confusion...."What am I doing? She's just going to learn to hit! I am awful!" And on and on.
I seriously cannot think of anything else to do! It's not the kicking itself that's a major problem...it's that she is willfully, knowingly, still kicking when told not to. I know she is just asserting herself, but she needs to learn to listen, right? I can't put her in "timeout" (because where would I put her? In her crib? Do I want her to associate the crib with punishment?) I can't take away a toy because the value/association is not there yet.
Need advice! I am SUCH a newbie! Dh and I are both like, "What do we do?" We don't know! Oh, life was a lot easier for my parents! Just spank 'em and be done...none of this all-consuming self-doubt.
Meldi

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Maybe. . .hours later. . .maybe not. . .
Maybe forcing her to do so would create a situation where the nightmares continued for longer periods of time (ie days on end, weeks on end) rather than being isolated incidences.
And again. . .when did you meet MY child?
Virgo
I'd like Lois to comment on whether her sons still come into her bed at night and if not, how old were they until they stopped.
Yes, the habit of needing interaction with and/or co-sleeping to sleep past early childhood.
Let me ask you - being as pro co-sleeping as you are, do you see any benefits to not allowing it?
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You know, in thinking about this, I realize it depends on the child too.
Do I see any benefits to NOT co-sleeping?
Virgo
Laura
Virgo
"Where you and I differ is that I see emotional needs as important as other needs,"
I agree that emotional needs are as important as physical needs.
"I DON'T necessarily see my needs as MORE important than my children's in ALL situations,"
Again, I agree.
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