Too Far? [Spin-off]

Avatar for rollmops2009
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Registered: 02-24-2009
Too Far? [Spin-off]
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Fri, 07-05-2013 - 10:30am

So we discussed doing things with kids, being present etc., and opinions varied a fair deal.

The other day I was chatting with a friend who still has teens at home. She and her husband always wanted to go to Napa and taste wine,  stay in romantic inns etc. Their anniversary is later this month, so they booked a long, wine-tasting weekend in Napa and got dad's sister to come stay with the kids, which is great.

It happens that their youngest, a girl, turns 14 that weekend. Would you go on a trip, even if it WAS a special occasion, and miss your child's birthday?

I admit I wouldn't, but maybe I am a sap?

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Registered: 02-24-2010
Sat, 07-06-2013 - 2:05am

I wouldn't plan a vacation on my child's birthday on purpose--if there were no other factors making it so that it could only be during that week.

“Clearly," said Arthur,"you're an idiot- but you're our kind of idiot. Come on.” 
― Markus ZusakThe Book Thief

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Registered: 05-27-1998
Fri, 07-05-2013 - 5:17pm

(Raises hand, but not sheepishly) Way back in 2006, the company my DH worked for paid for us to go on a very luxurious 5-day cruise. (These junkets were awarded to top salespeople every year, and the executives got to take turns going along as a perq.) We're not cruise people, but it was free, so even though the last day of it fell on my DD's 11th birthday, we went.

We flew back home the afternoon of her birthday, but had already planned her party for the following weekend, so she said she didn't mind. However, she still reminds us of the time we "blew off" her birthday. :D

Would I do the same thing today if I had the choice? Heck yeah, the cruise was a blast and it's likely the only one I'll ever go on, since I am not going to pay all that money myself for a vacation of that type.

Avatar for jamblessedthree
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Registered: 10-23-2001
Fri, 07-05-2013 - 4:05pm

grapthars_hammer wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">jamblessedthree</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;DS birthday is two days after Christmas, I see to it that his day is celebrated separately and diferently than Christmas.  We don't travel over Christmas anymore either b/c his day has gotten sort of lost in the shuffle and I don't like that. &lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>Oh, sure, we do that, too.  And it's three of us born the week before Christmas--my sisters and I, the 18th, 20th and 22nd, in birth order.  But that doesn't mean we didn't understand if, for various reasons birthday celebrations got moved to a non-birthday day in order to accommodate other things.  We never EVER had birthday gifts wrapped in Christmas paper.</p>

10 is the last year we take our kids to Toys R Us for their birthdays and let them pick out their own present.  DS last birthday was it so this next year I'll buy something then wrap it, I won't use Christmas paper either. 

 

 

Avatar for savcal2011
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Registered: 10-06-2010
Fri, 07-05-2013 - 3:57pm

Heck, my brother and my daughter were born on my parents' wedding anniversary.  That day is RIFE for conflict. 

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

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Registered: 12-07-2003
Fri, 07-05-2013 - 3:53pm

grapthars_hammer wrote:
Oh, sure, we do that, too.  And it's three of us born the week before Christmas--my sisters and I, the 18th, 20th and 22nd, in birth order.  But that doesn't mean we didn't understand if, for various reasons birthday celebrations got moved to a non-birthday day in order to accommodate other things.  We never EVER had birthday gifts wrapped in Christmas paper.

My sister's birthday is on 12/15.  I always make sure to give her a separate gift for her birthday, but I have to admit . . . sometimes it's wrapped in Christmas paper.

Avatar for savcal2011
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Registered: 10-06-2010
Fri, 07-05-2013 - 3:49pm

rollmops2009 wrote:
<p>So we discussed doing things with kids, being present etc., and opinions varied a fair deal.</p><p>The other day I was chatting with a friend who still has teens at home. She and her husband always wanted to go to Napa and taste wine,  stay in romantic inns etc. Their anniversary is later this month, so they booked a long, wine-tasting weekend in Napa and got dad's sister to come stay with the kids, which is great.</p><p>It happens that their youngest, a girl, turns 14 that weekend. Would you go on a trip, even if it WAS a special occasion, and miss your child's birthday?</p><p>I admit I wouldn't, but maybe I am a sap?</p>

I've missed many of my kids' birthdays, because they spent them with their dad or at camp.   So it wouldn't bother me.  We rarely do the "celebration" of a kid's bday on the actual day.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

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Registered: 03-22-2013
Fri, 07-05-2013 - 2:25pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p>DS birthday is two days after Christmas, I see to it that his day is celebrated separately and diferently than Christmas.  We don't travel over Christmas anymore either b/c his day has gotten sort of lost in the shuffle and I don't like that. </p>

Oh, sure, we do that, too.  And it's three of us born the week before Christmas--my sisters and I, the 18th, 20th and 22nd, in birth order.  But that doesn't mean we didn't understand if, for various reasons birthday celebrations got moved to a non-birthday day in order to accommodate other things.  We never EVER had birthday gifts wrapped in Christmas paper.

Avatar for jamblessedthree
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Registered: 10-23-2001
Fri, 07-05-2013 - 2:21pm

DS birthday is two days after Christmas, I see to it that his day is celebrated separately and diferently than Christmas.  We don't travel over Christmas anymore either b/c his day has gotten sort of lost in the shuffle and I don't like that. 

 


 


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Registered: 03-22-2013
Fri, 07-05-2013 - 2:06pm

springfever2013 wrote:
Why is it WHEN? I can see a 3 year old being excited with the parents going overboard with attention all day. A 14 yr. old who knows that there might be other things that are going on that day and they WILL still get extra treatment but maybe not that EXACT day or EXACT time when they want it. </span></span></strong></p>

Yeah, this is where I am, too.  I mean, as much as they've known for 13 years when the girl's birthday is, she's also likely known for a good while (8 or 9 years) that Mom and Dad's anniversary is around that time, too.  She's old enough to know that's important, too and likely old enough to WANT to make it special if possible.  Juggling dates for a trip that's never happened before and likely not to happen again in a while is probably NOT that upsetting for the girl

And I would imagine Mom and Dad will still call her on her birthday, Napa valley or no.

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Registered: 03-22-2013
Fri, 07-05-2013 - 2:02pm

rollmops2009 wrote:
"I WAS including a kid as a "family member" lol." --------- Yes, I get that. What I mean is that this not any old family member, nor is it an adult. It is a kid and it is the kid's birthday.

Maybe it's because I was born 3 days before Christmas, or because I was born 11 days after my parents' anniversary, or 4 days after my oldest sister's birthday, or 2 days after my next sister's birthday, but celebrating my birthday on *the exact day* just isn't *that* important.  If we celebrate it, that's good enough for me :)

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