Too Far? [Spin-off]

Avatar for rollmops2009
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Registered: 02-24-2009
Too Far? [Spin-off]
58
Fri, 07-05-2013 - 10:30am

So we discussed doing things with kids, being present etc., and opinions varied a fair deal.

The other day I was chatting with a friend who still has teens at home. She and her husband always wanted to go to Napa and taste wine,  stay in romantic inns etc. Their anniversary is later this month, so they booked a long, wine-tasting weekend in Napa and got dad's sister to come stay with the kids, which is great.

It happens that their youngest, a girl, turns 14 that weekend. Would you go on a trip, even if it WAS a special occasion, and miss your child's birthday?

I admit I wouldn't, but maybe I am a sap?

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Registered: 03-27-2013
Fri, 07-05-2013 - 10:59am

"I WAS including a kid as a "family member" lol." --------- Yes, I get that. What I mean is that this not any old family member, nor is it an adult. It is a kid and it is the kid's birthday.

And? What did you normally do for your dd? On my kid's birthdays, it is usually a normal day (school/work) and then maybe dinner that day and cake with family (that night). Many times we have had dinner/cake/bdays parties out with friends on other days.

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Registered: 10-23-2001
Fri, 07-05-2013 - 11:00am

They didn't know for 13 years when their own child's birthday was?  No, I wouldn't plan a weekend away if it fell on my child's birthday. 

We made plans to get away last year for our own 20th but our actual anniversary fell on a weekday and the kids were still in school too so we made plans for one month to the day to get away, We had called MIL who agreed to come down and everything.  The woman changed her mind, Nice, eh?  We were just shy of booking our reservations, thank God we didn't lose anything there.  I'd still like to get away alone but I'd never plan it over a child's birthday or special occassion. 

 

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Fri, 07-05-2013 - 11:02am

springfever2013 wrote:
What do you do with your parents on that actual day that you could not do a day or two before? IME, for all our birthdays, we all do normal everyday things during the day and either go out to dinner that night or a night around it (whatever is more convenient) and have a birthday cake for the kids.

Nothing.  Usually they just stop by at some point during the day to say happy birthday.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Fri, 07-05-2013 - 11:04am

Nothing.  Usually they just stop by at some point during the day to say happy birthday.

So why would you get upset if they weren't there on that actual day?

Avatar for rollmops2009
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Registered: 02-24-2009
Fri, 07-05-2013 - 11:05am
"What do you do with your parents on that actual day that you could not do a day or two before? " ------- It is not WHAT you do, it is WHEN. For example, our birthday tradition is very low-key. I make DD a special breakfast (often home-made, hot from the oven Danish pastry) and she opens her presents. But the whole point is that it is not just any old day, it is her birthday.
Avatar for rollmops2009
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Registered: 02-24-2009
Fri, 07-05-2013 - 11:06am
"I'd still like to get away alone but I'd never plan it over a child's birthday or special occasion." ---------- Yeah, that is my feeling too.
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Registered: 03-27-2013
Fri, 07-05-2013 - 11:09am

"What do you do with your parents on that actual day that you could not do a day or two before? " ------- It is not WHAT you do, it is WHEN. For example, our birthday tradition is very low-key. I make DD a special breakfast (often home-made, hot from the oven Danish pastry) and she opens her presents. But the whole point is that it is not just any old day, it is her birthday.

Why is it WHEN? I can see a 3 year old being excited with the parents going overboard with attention all day. A 14 yr. old who knows that there might be other things that are going on that day and they WILL still get extra treatment but maybe not that EXACT day or EXACT time when they want it. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Fri, 07-05-2013 - 11:13am

springfever2013 wrote:
So why would you get upset if they weren't there on that actual day?

Not upset, I just like seeing my parents on my birthday.

Avatar for rollmops2009
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Registered: 02-24-2009
Fri, 07-05-2013 - 11:14am
"Why is it WHEN?" --------- Because it is a birthday, and even a teen will usually feel hurt if the parents are MIA on that day, especially if it is just to amuse themselves. My dh travels all the time, for business, but even he will schedule, sometimes with great difficulty, to be home for his kid's birthday.
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Registered: 12-07-2003
Fri, 07-05-2013 - 11:15am

rollmops2009 wrote:
It is not WHAT you do, it is WHEN. For example, our birthday tradition is very low-key. I make DD a special breakfast (often home-made, hot from the oven Danish pastry) and she opens her presents. But the whole point is that it is not just any old day, it is her birthday.

My dad worked 24 hr shifts when I was a kid as a fireman, and occasionally he'd have to work on my birthday.  We always just moved it to the next day.  That didn't bother me, but I like having the celebration on the actual day, if at all possible.