Too Far? [Spin-off]

Avatar for rollmops2009
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Registered: 02-24-2009
Too Far? [Spin-off]
58
Fri, 07-05-2013 - 10:30am

So we discussed doing things with kids, being present etc., and opinions varied a fair deal.

The other day I was chatting with a friend who still has teens at home. She and her husband always wanted to go to Napa and taste wine,  stay in romantic inns etc. Their anniversary is later this month, so they booked a long, wine-tasting weekend in Napa and got dad's sister to come stay with the kids, which is great.

It happens that their youngest, a girl, turns 14 that weekend. Would you go on a trip, even if it WAS a special occasion, and miss your child's birthday?

I admit I wouldn't, but maybe I am a sap?

Avatar for rollmops2009
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Registered: 02-24-2009
Fri, 07-05-2013 - 12:13pm
"Great!! What about now when your dd is away at college? Does she come home just so you both can spend the day with her?" ------------ She is a grown-up now. I was talking about kids and teens. However, yes, dd has so far been here for all her birthdays since starting college.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Fri, 07-05-2013 - 12:17pm

I wouldn't either. I was even kind of annoyed that my parents missed DD's b-day last year because they were visiting my sister. (She ended up having three celebrations last year!)

Maybe because you see them all the time but my kids and my nephews rarely share(d) their birthdays with my parents.

My friend's brother lives in Florida, It's just her and her brother.  I don't know about birthdays but the mom does go down there for at least one holiday a year and she groans about it sometimes.   I don't get what the big deal is either as she sees her mom much more than he gets to too. 

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 07-05-2013 - 12:18pm

rollmops2009 wrote:
"Great!! What about now when your dd is away at college? Does she come home just so you both can spend the day with her?" ------------ She is a grown-up now. I was talking about kids and teens. However, yes, dd has so far been here for all her birthdays since starting college.

I can see visiting my kids in college on a weekend around their birthday among other visits.  

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Fri, 07-05-2013 - 12:19pm

Lol, The Duggars.  The way they're going a family member's birthday will fall on every day of the year!

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Fri, 07-05-2013 - 12:23pm

I was hoping my sibs and I would plan something for my dad's 85th but that day came and went.  For a couple big years before that - his 80th and 75th - we did do special things for him.  We siblings just remember eachother with cards on our birthdays. 

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Fri, 07-05-2013 - 12:53pm

I'm probably the wrong person to ask about this because my big professional meeting every year falls on my older son's birthday most years.  When he was very little, I took him up with me, up until he was about six and decided he didn't want to go anymore.  So we have always held his birthday party the weekend before or the weekend after.  The year he turned thirteen my husband was also in Europe when his birthday fell and he decided to take one more trip up to the professional meeting with me; even at thirteen he didn't want to be staying with a friend's family on the actual day.   We don't make any kind of fuss over adult birthdays in our family, and the kids don't get parties after the 11th birthday.   They do get a present, and usually a dinner out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2013
Fri, 07-05-2013 - 1:56pm

As a youngest daughter whose birthday is only 10 days after my parents' anniversary, I would not have been upset if my parents went away over my birthday for a special occasion anniversary trip.  I don't see the problem.  If parents still celebrate the birthday, then what's the big deal if one year the birthday shifts so a big anniversary trip can happen?  Particularly with a girl child of 14--old enough to understand competing celebrations.

As the parents, I'd just have a party for the birthday girl early.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2013
Fri, 07-05-2013 - 1:59pm

rollmops2009 wrote:
"Unless it was a big one (first one, 16th) I don't see the problem with celebrating before it they can't go any other time." ------------ Seriously? Why couldn't the parents schedule the trip at a different time?

There may be a special event in Napa they're especially wanting to attend or avoid which makes the scheduling necessary for the time they've chosen.  It happens.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2013
Fri, 07-05-2013 - 2:02pm

rollmops2009 wrote:
"I WAS including a kid as a "family member" lol." --------- Yes, I get that. What I mean is that this not any old family member, nor is it an adult. It is a kid and it is the kid's birthday.

Maybe it's because I was born 3 days before Christmas, or because I was born 11 days after my parents' anniversary, or 4 days after my oldest sister's birthday, or 2 days after my next sister's birthday, but celebrating my birthday on *the exact day* just isn't *that* important.  If we celebrate it, that's good enough for me :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2013
Fri, 07-05-2013 - 2:06pm

springfever2013 wrote:
Why is it WHEN? I can see a 3 year old being excited with the parents going overboard with attention all day. A 14 yr. old who knows that there might be other things that are going on that day and they WILL still get extra treatment but maybe not that EXACT day or EXACT time when they want it. </span></span></strong></p>

Yeah, this is where I am, too.  I mean, as much as they've known for 13 years when the girl's birthday is, she's also likely known for a good while (8 or 9 years) that Mom and Dad's anniversary is around that time, too.  She's old enough to know that's important, too and likely old enough to WANT to make it special if possible.  Juggling dates for a trip that's never happened before and likely not to happen again in a while is probably NOT that upsetting for the girl

And I would imagine Mom and Dad will still call her on her birthday, Napa valley or no.