Underage Drinking

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Underage Drinking
570
Mon, 02-18-2013 - 8:02am

We have friends who find nothing wrong with allowing their 16 year olds to drink. They allow them to have beer pong parties with their friends (because they are doing it in their home) and allow them to try different types of wines (In their words "to make them a connoisseur of wine").

We find this unacceptable as if they are doing it at home, you know they are doing it elsewhere and these kids are able to drive now so I can not believe that none of them ever drive home drunk.

What does everyone think of this?

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Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Tue, 02-19-2013 - 4:41pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p> Do you inventory your alchohol before your kids go out?</p>

 

Nope. 

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 02-19-2013 - 4:44pm

hazeleyes2005 wrote:
Ummm...we are aware of the security ONLY by what she has posted. It is obvious that they are not very good. Sad to pay all this money to send your kids and this is what happens. Shame.

She didn't post about security, didn't want to discuss the topic on the internet.  So what is left is....assumptions or stalking, pick one.  :)

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Tue, 02-19-2013 - 4:48pm

So turning 21 = instant maturity? Hogwash. In my two decades of working with college students, I've seen quite a few 18 year olds more mature than many adults I know. I've also seen some 21 year old incompetents. Personally, I think the legal drinking age should be 18 anyway. If you can die for this country and elect our leaders, you should be able to drink a beer legally. I don't agree with the actions of the parents in your original post, but I'm also not naive enough to think that my kids won't be exposed to underage drinking and illegal drugs during their teen years because the reality is that they will. It is my job as a mother to teach them to make smart decisions and to reinforce the consequences of not so smart decisions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 02-19-2013 - 4:49pm

hazeleyes2005 wrote:
It was originally about alcohol and then the story of the school dance and graduation party and how it is naive not to think that kids would be introduced to it because her children were. It was still about alcohol but if you start a story and say that kids "hid" alcohol in a "secret" room and were underage, yes, security is going to come up with that.


All of which is not unique to any school, public or private, regardless of security. It is naive to think a child (regardless of how active and involved parents are, because board is pretty darn active, I know her personally) isn't going to be exposed to alcohol at some point in their lives in a party situation underage.  Darn naive.  What is key is talking to the kid on how to handle the situation and so forth no focusing on the wrong things like the fictional security of a school that one's children doesn't attend.  So silly.

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Tue, 02-19-2013 - 4:50pm

bordwithyou wrote:
The very best kind of security is a close community that watches out for each other.

Yes, yes, and yes. 

 

I'm constantly freaking my kids out - particularly The Girl - by knowing their friends' parents, etc.  I work with The Girl's boyfriend's dad (kinda), and know, more than just in passing, the parents of the vast majority of her friends.   She'll mention some kid and I"ll say "Oh, is that so-and-so's daughter?" and she'll be all "Moooooommmmm. Do you know EVERYBODY?"     I love small towns.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 02-19-2013 - 4:55pm

savcal2011 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">hazeleyes2005</em> wrote:</div>I guess the number is so high as so many parents find no problem letting their child drink at home (more than a sip here and there) and being naive to not checking on kids at a party. Eyes rolling.</blockquote></p><p> </p><p>You say that as if the two things are related.   Letting a child have a *legal* drink at home does not equal not checking on kids at a party.</p>

OR not even at home, we let them have a "legal" drink on vacation and more than once, it was sometimes cheaper than soda!  But that would never, ever, EVER equal me to not check on him at a party,  We have an on-going open dialogue with him about alcohol and parties, along with a no questions asked pickup/phone call policy.

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Tue, 02-19-2013 - 4:56pm

hazeleyes2005 wrote:
Some are saying it is legal in certain states if drinking is done at home under parental supervision.

 

It is.  In something like 40 states.  And in something like 20 more it is legal even in others' home under the direct supervision of one's parents.

 

No, I don't have links.  I researched it quite extensively some time ago, for my own knowledge and use. I don't care to do so again.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 02-19-2013 - 4:57pm

mygarnetboy wrote:
<p>So turning 21 = instant maturity? Hogwash. In my two decades of working with college students, I've seen quite a few 18 year olds more mature than many adults I know. I've also seen some 21 year old incompetents. Personally, I think the legal drinking age should be 18 anyway. If you can die for this country and elect our leaders, you should be able to drink a beer legally. I don't agree with the actions of the parents in your original post, but I'm also not naive enough to think that my kids won't be exposed to underage drinking and illegal drugs during their teen years because the reality is that they will. It is my job as a mother to teach them to make smart decisions and to reinforce the consequences of not so smart decisions.</p>

Well said, well said.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 02-19-2013 - 4:59pm

savcal2011 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">bordwithyou</em> wrote:</div>The very best kind of security is a close community that watches out for each other.</blockquote></p><p>Yes, yes, and yes. </p><p> </p><p>I'm constantly freaking my kids out - particularly The Girl - by knowing their friends' parents, etc.  I work with The Girl's boyfriend's dad (kinda), and know, more than just in passing, the parents of the vast majority of her friends.   She'll mention some kid and I"ll say "Oh, is that so-and-so's daughter?" and she'll be all "Moooooommmmm. Do you know EVERYBODY?"     I love small towns.</p>

I love my kids groups of friends, the parents all know each other well and we all talk to each other on a regular basis.  

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Tue, 02-19-2013 - 4:59pm

Judgey, much? I drank a bit in high school. I had/have AWESOME parents. I also had 21 year old friends (in HS I worked w/several) who would buy me alcohol where I worked. My actions were hardly a reflection of crappy parenting or loose morals. They were the actions of a fairly typical teen. I drank responsibly, never drove after drinking (or rode with someone who drank) and never to excess. In hindsight, it was all rather harmless--b/c there was no way I was going to get pukey drunk and go home to my parents like that.

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