What do you think about teen sleepovers?

Avatar for Cmmelissa
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Registered: 11-13-2008
What do you think about teen sleepovers?
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Tue, 08-13-2013 - 5:04pm

I was reading an interesting article from Huffington Post, the author was discussing how open parents should be with their teen with regards to sex: 

If you aren't comfortable with your own sexuality or challenging deeply-embedded ideas about sex being "bad," can you teach your kids anything different? In defiance of socially conservative mythology, approaches that are positive about sex do not lead to licentiousness, STDs, abortions and despair. On the contrary, the more you teach children about healthy, responsible sex, the more likely they are to treat sex in healthy, responsible ways. In general, they are more knowledgeable, more emotionally mature about it and "safer" in the scary-sex way. 

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/soraya-chemaly/how-do-you-feel-about-sex-and-teenage-sleepovers_b_3744080.html?utm_hp_ref=parents&ir=Parents

She does some comparisons between the U.S. and the Netherlands, even how some parents in the Netherlands will allow their teenage children to have sex in their home.  

 Would you want to know your child is having sex, or prefer to remain in the dark?  Would you allow your teen's partner to sleepover in your house? 

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Registered: 07-30-2013

I am perfectly aware of how to apologize. And absolutely willing to do so, when it is warranted.

I know it is very difficult for you to grasp that you were wrong. 

Avatar for savcal2011
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Registered: 10-06-2010
Wed, 08-14-2013 - 2:36pm

QueenbeeNotaWannabee wrote:
>Exactly. Am I the only one who has ever seen a condom machine in a gas station bathroom? What am I supposed to do, make him hold it while I check out every bathroom for the one w/o a condom machine?</p>

It's all over.   Both in harmless, innocent ways (the condoms in the drug store or HBA aisle of Walmart) and in not so innocent ways (shows like Teen Mom, kids on the playground, condoms in the gutter in the street).  By being an active participant in these discussions, I can steer things back to the harmless, innocent side of things. 

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

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Registered: 07-30-2013

Am I the only one who has ever seen a condom machine in a gas station bathroom?

Probably not but you DO realize that many people don't even go into gas station bathrooms let alone bring their kids in there either, right? 

What am I supposed to do, make him hold it while I check out every bathroom for the one w/o a condom machine?

I guess I am not "worldly" enough that I don't go into bathrooms like this, by myself OR with my kids. 

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Registered: 06-27-2013

kickboxingbabe2013 wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Am I the only one who has ever seen a condom machine in a gas station bathroom? </span></p><p style="text-align:left"><strong><span style="font-size:x-small"><span>Probably not but you DO realize that many people don't even go into gas station bathrooms let alone bring their kids in there either, right? </span></span></strong></p><p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">What am I supposed to do, make him hold it while I check out every bathroom for the one w/o a condom machine?</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">I guess I am not "worldly" enough that I don't go into bathrooms like this, by myself OR with my kids. </span></strong></p>
 

We drive places. We have bodily functions. Sometimes that necessitates using a bathroom in a gas station. And sometimes those bathrooms have machines...

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Registered: 07-30-2013

We drive places. We have bodily functions. Sometimes that necessitates using a bathroom in a gas station. And sometimes those bathrooms have machines...

That's nice. Some people don't stop at gas stations but use other places. Shrug.


Avatar for savcal2011
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Registered: 10-06-2010
Wed, 08-14-2013 - 2:44pm

kickboxingbabe2013 wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Am I the only one who has ever seen a condom machine in a gas station bathroom? </span></p><p style="text-align:left"><strong><span style="font-size:x-small"><span>Probably not but you DO realize that many people don't even go into gas station bathrooms let alone bring their kids in there either, right? </span></span></strong></p><p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">What am I supposed to do, make him hold it while I check out every bathroom for the one w/o a condom machine?</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">I guess I am not "worldly" enough that I don't go into bathrooms like this, by myself OR with my kids. </span></strong></p>

Long road trip - potty stop needed. What do you do? Hold it? Make your kids hold it? Pee by the side of road? What?

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

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Registered: 05-27-1998
Wed, 08-14-2013 - 2:47pm

All I can say is that I'm glad my D made it through high school without this issue ever coming up, and DS 16 is socially awkward, so I don't see it happening with him, either. In any case, teen sleepovers are kind of a moot point, since the teens who are having sex just go to their own houses while the parents are at work. No need for overnights!

The best thing any parent can do is to know their own kids and their kids' friends. Regardless of whether the parents allow boyfriends/girlfriends to sleep over, kids who have poor communication with their parents are a lot more likely to end up pregnant, on drugs, or with an STD than those who have solid relationships.

 

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Registered: 07-30-2013

Long road trip - potty stop needed. What do you do? Hold it? Make your kids hold it? Pee by the side of road? What?

For a boy, that CAN be done but most likely a restaurant.

Avatar for savcal2011
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Registered: 10-06-2010
Wed, 08-14-2013 - 3:39pm

ashmama wrote:
<p>All I can say is that I'm glad my D made it through high school without this issue ever coming up, and DS 16 is socially awkward, so I don't see it happening with him, either. In any case, teen sleepovers are kind of a moot point, since the teens who are having sex just go to their own houses while the parents are at work. No need for overnights!</p><p>The best thing any parent can do is to know their own kids and their kids' friends. Regardless of whether the parents allow boyfriends/girlfriends to sleep over, kids who have poor communication with their parents are a lot more likely to end up pregnant, on drugs, or with an STD than those who have solid relationships.</p><p> </p>

Yes, yes, and yes. Espcially to this <<The best thing any parent can do is to know their own kids and their kids' friends. >>    I love being around my kids' friends.  For multiple reasons - one being that I just truly enjoy their company. But another being that by having a relationship with their friends, I can monitor their activities, I can know who they're hanging out with and what the "group morals and ethics" are, etc.  I don't aim to be *friends* with my kids' friends, but I want them to be comfortable with me, respect me, treat me like a real person - rather than be fearful of me or ignore me.   I like that when I have a livingroom full of teenagers and I walk into the room - it doesn't get quiet.  They keep doing whatever they were doing, continue with whatever conversation they were having - and throw in a "Oh, Hi mom!" or "Hi Mrs. S!" or "Hi Hollie" as I go through. Or, as it often happens, they'll pull me into their conversation or activity. 

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

Avatar for savcal2011
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Registered: 10-06-2010
Wed, 08-14-2013 - 3:39pm

kickboxingbabe2013 wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Long road trip - potty stop needed. What do you do? Hold it? Make your kids hold it? Pee by the side of road? What?</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">For a boy, that CAN be done but most likely a restaurant.</span></strong></p>

You've obviously not traveled I-40 through Texas, New Mexico and Arizona, lol.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

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