What do you think about teen sleepovers?

Avatar for Cmmelissa
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Registered: 11-13-2008
What do you think about teen sleepovers?
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Tue, 08-13-2013 - 5:04pm

I was reading an interesting article from Huffington Post, the author was discussing how open parents should be with their teen with regards to sex: 

If you aren't comfortable with your own sexuality or challenging deeply-embedded ideas about sex being "bad," can you teach your kids anything different? In defiance of socially conservative mythology, approaches that are positive about sex do not lead to licentiousness, STDs, abortions and despair. On the contrary, the more you teach children about healthy, responsible sex, the more likely they are to treat sex in healthy, responsible ways. In general, they are more knowledgeable, more emotionally mature about it and "safer" in the scary-sex way. 

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/soraya-chemaly/how-do-you-feel-about-sex-and-teenage-sleepovers_b_3744080.html?utm_hp_ref=parents&ir=Parents

She does some comparisons between the U.S. and the Netherlands, even how some parents in the Netherlands will allow their teenage children to have sex in their home.  

 Would you want to know your child is having sex, or prefer to remain in the dark?  Would you allow your teen's partner to sleepover in your house? 

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Avatar for rollmops2009
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Registered: 02-24-2009
Wed, 08-14-2013 - 3:47pm
"As my mother always said, "I'd rather know and not approve than be lied to or kept in the dark." --------- Exactly!
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Registered: 06-27-2013

savcal2011 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">ashmama</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;All I can say is that I'm glad my D made it through high school without this issue ever coming up, and DS 16 is socially awkward, so I don't see it happening with him, either. In any case, teen sleepovers are kind of a moot point, since the teens who are having sex just go to their own houses while the parents are at work. No need for overnights!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;The best thing any parent can do is to know their own kids and their kids' friends. Regardless of whether the parents allow boyfriends/girlfriends to sleep over, kids who have poor communication with their parents are a lot more likely to end up pregnant, on drugs, or with an STD than those who have solid relationships.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>Yes, yes, and yes. Espcially to this <strong><em>&lt;&lt;The best thing any parent can do is to know their own kids and their kids' friends. &gt;&gt; </em></strong>   I love being around my kids' friends.  For multiple reasons - one being that I just truly enjoy their company. But another being that by having a relationship with their friends, I can monitor their activities, I can know who they're hanging out with and what the "group morals and ethics" are, etc.  I don't aim to be *friends* with my kids' friends, but I want them to be comfortable with me, respect me, treat me like a real person - rather than be fearful of me or ignore me.   I like that when I have a livingroom full of teenagers and I walk into the room - it doesn't get quiet.  They keep doing whatever they were doing, continue with whatever conversation they were having - and throw in a "Oh, Hi mom!" or "Hi Mrs. S!" or "Hi Hollie" as I go through. Or, as it often happens, they'll pull me into their conversation or activity. </p>

^^^^ That is why I"ve tried very hard to cultivate an atmosphere of being "that house." As in, that house that everyone hangs out at. And the kids don't really hang out w/any kids whose parents/guardians I don't know well. A few weeks ago, DS had his two best friends spend the night and they asked to watch a certain movie that just wasn't appropriate. When I said no, DS came back with, "Well, their mom would let them watch it..." I know that mother well enough to know that wasn't true. So I came back with, "Really? Then why are y'all trying to watch it here instead of having watched it already over there?" That was the end of that. And a few days later, in the midst of a conversation, I ran it by the other mother. And I was right--she was not okay w/the kids watching that particular movie. Communication is everything.

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Registered: 08-13-2013
Wed, 08-14-2013 - 4:11pm

You really talk to your kids about this at their very young ages? Surprised

Are you saying that you don't talk to your kids about sex b/c they are too young?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2013

May I ask what movie it was?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2013

You really talk to your kids about this at their very young ages? Surprised

Are you saying that you don't talk to your kids about sex b/c they are too young?

Did I say that?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2013

Ted. I haven't seen it, but I heard from friends that it is very crude. And rated R. So I don't feel it is appropriate for him or his friends...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2013

Oh ok. Yeah, I would agree that it is not a good movie for 12 year olds. It is probably nothing they have not heard before but it IS an R rated movie so it is quite raunchy. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2013
Wed, 08-14-2013 - 4:23pm
Oh good grief. It was a question.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2013
Wed, 08-14-2013 - 4:24pm

May I ask what movie it was?

Why? 

Avatar for savcal2011
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Registered: 10-06-2010
Wed, 08-14-2013 - 4:43pm

QueenbeeNotaWannabee wrote:
<p>Ted. I haven't seen it, but I heard from friends that it is very crude. And rated R. So I don't feel it is appropriate for him or his friends...</p>

Umm, yeah no.   I'm pretty lenient when it comes to movies and I won't let The Boy (13) watch that one.  

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

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