What do you think about teen sleepovers?

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
What do you think about teen sleepovers?
276
Tue, 08-13-2013 - 5:04pm

I was reading an interesting article from Huffington Post, the author was discussing how open parents should be with their teen with regards to sex: 

If you aren't comfortable with your own sexuality or challenging deeply-embedded ideas about sex being "bad," can you teach your kids anything different? In defiance of socially conservative mythology, approaches that are positive about sex do not lead to licentiousness, STDs, abortions and despair. On the contrary, the more you teach children about healthy, responsible sex, the more likely they are to treat sex in healthy, responsible ways. In general, they are more knowledgeable, more emotionally mature about it and "safer" in the scary-sex way. 

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/soraya-chemaly/how-do-you-feel-about-sex-and-teenage-sleepovers_b_3744080.html?utm_hp_ref=parents&ir=Parents

She does some comparisons between the U.S. and the Netherlands, even how some parents in the Netherlands will allow their teenage children to have sex in their home.  

 Would you want to know your child is having sex, or prefer to remain in the dark?  Would you allow your teen's partner to sleepover in your house? 

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2013

savcal2011 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">QueenbeeNotaWannabee</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;Ted. I haven't seen it, but I heard from friends that it is very crude. And rated R. So I don't feel it is appropriate for him or his friends...&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>Umm, yeah no.   I'm pretty lenient when it comes to movies and I won't let The Boy (13) watch that one.  </p>

Exactly!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Wed, 08-14-2013 - 8:08pm

If a kid is old enough and responsible enough to pull down his pants for sex why can't he take it upon himself to go the store or gas station for condoms?  Storing them in his closet for him sounds like mommy overload, Happy helicoptering.

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Wed, 08-14-2013 - 8:11pm

ashmama wrote:
<p>All I can say is that I'm glad my D made it through high school without this issue ever coming up, and DS 16 is socially awkward, so I don't see it happening with him, either. In any case, teen sleepovers are kind of a moot point, since the teens who are having sex just go to their own houses while the parents are at work. No need for overnights!</p><p>The best thing any parent can do is to know their own kids and their kids' friends. Regardless of whether the parents allow boyfriends/girlfriends to sleep over, kids who have poor communication with their parents are a lot more likely to end up pregnant, on drugs, or with an STD than those who have solid relationships.</p><p> </p>

Well said.  Communication is critical, so is knowing my kids' friends parents, both of which are going pretty well for us.   I've been lucky, I have two teenagers and a ten year old, Knock wood. 

 


 


Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Wed, 08-14-2013 - 9:02pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p>If a kid is old enough and responsible enough to pull down his pants for sex why can't he take it upon himself to go the store or gas station for condoms?  Storing them in his closet for him sounds like mommy overload, Happy helicoptering.</p>
jamblessedthree wrote:
<p>If a kid is old enough and responsible enough to pull down his pants for sex why can't he take it upon himself to go the store or gas station for condoms?  Storing them in his closet for him sounds like mommy overload, Happy helicoptering.</p>

Because kids are stupid.  I'm of the mind that if you are mature enough to be having sex, you're mature enough to go to the drugstore and buy condoms.  However, kids are stupid, they don't plan ahead and hormones rage.  If my kids' hormones are raging out of control to the extent they can't plan ahead for sex, then they probably don't have the willpower to stop just because they don't have condoms.  So if the choice then is "have sex without condoms" or "have sex with condoms mom put in my dresser" - I'd choose the latter everytime.

 

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Thu, 08-15-2013 - 2:46am
"So if the choice then is "have sex without condoms" or "have sex with condoms mom put in my dresser" - I'd choose the latter everytime." --------- Yep, and I, btw, also think girls should have condoms in their purses. It is not just because kids are impulsive and "stupid," as you call it. It is also that by buying the stupid condoms and making them available, you are communicating, very clearly, that condoms are a must.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2013

rollmops2009 wrote:
"So if the choice then is "have sex without condoms" or "have sex with condoms mom put in my dresser" - I'd choose the latter everytime." --------- Yep, and I, btw, also think girls should have condoms in their purses. It is not just because kids are impulsive and "stupid," as you call it. It is also that by buying the stupid condoms and making them available, you are communicating, very clearly, that condoms are a must.

Yup. I'm living proof that once without a condom = teen pregnancy. Rollmops, DD will absolutely carry her own condoms b/c of her latex allergy. The wrong condom could kill her. 

Jambles--just because you call someone a helicopter mom, doesn't actually make them one. I don't hover. But I will make sure they have what they need. Should I also require him to purchase his own toothpaste, deodorant, shampoo, soap, etc? I'd rather pay for a box of condoms than a grandchild. Obviously YMMV.

Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Thu, 08-15-2013 - 9:02am

rollmops2009 wrote:
Yep, and I, btw, also think girls should have condoms in their purses. It is not just because kids are impulsive and "stupid," as you call it. It is also that by buying the stupid condoms and making them available, you are communicating, very clearly, that condoms are a must.

Yes.  Agreed.  The Girl and I have talked at length about how birth control doesn't equal safe sex.   That even if/when she goes on the pill or other method, that she should still use condoms.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2013

Yup. I'm living proof that once without a condom = teen pregnancy.

????

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2013

kickboxingbabe2013 wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Yup. I'm living proof that once without a condom = teen pregnancy.</span></p><p style="text-align:left"><strong><span style="font-size:x-small"><span>????</span></span></strong></p>

I'm not sure I could be much clearer but I'll try. Two teenagers had sex. Eight months later my sister and I were born. Adoption is a beautiful thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2013

I'm not sure I could be much clearer but I'll try. Two teenagers had sex. Eight months later my sister and I were born. Adoption is a beautiful thing.

You made it sound like YOU got pregnant. Not very clear. 

Pages