What the *heck* is co-sleeping?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
What the *heck* is co-sleeping?
22
Fri, 04-25-2003 - 10:59am
I've read it bunches of times, but I have no idea what it is... well I have a small idea, but if it means the kids sleep in your bed with you, when the heck do you have sex?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-25-2003 - 11:50am
Check out the "Family Bed" board here and get all the info!

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Avatar for biancamami
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 04-25-2003 - 12:38pm
I co-sleep with my toddler. She sleeps in the same bed with us (that's what it means)

In many cultures, it is viewed as a strange practice for parents to put their infants in an isolated room in a crib. And trust me, the couples in those cultures have sex!! LOL

As for me and DH...we are not deprived in any way. The fact that I'm preggo with #2 is testament to that! LOL

Ana
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-25-2003 - 1:02pm
Hey, now, can you share? I know of some couples who use a spare room. Ignore if too personal. At what age do you transition the baby out of the family bed? When #2 comes along?

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Avatar for biancamami
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 04-25-2003 - 3:07pm
Excellent questions...that I haven't figured out yet! LOL

As far as the sex thing...that's easy. When the baby is asleep we move her to a cot OR we use the twin bed in her nursery OR we use the couch, etc. etc. It's not a big deal at all! (We put her to sleep at 8pm so we have plenty of time alone...she thinks I'm still in bed with her but after she falls out I sneak out of bed. It usually only takes her five minutes to fall into a deep sleep)

As far as the next baby...I don't know. Part of the reason we ended up cosleeping is because my DD HATED her crib and being alone for any length of time. She did sleep in the bassinet beside our bed for 4 months w/ no major problem and I expect with #2 it will be the same. By the time #2 is out of the bassinet, my DD should be almost 3 years old. I figure we can either convince her to move out of the bed...#2 will have a totally different temperament from DD and stay in the crib...or we'll buy a King bed. Who knows? I'm playing it by ear but so far its worked out just fine so I'm not stressing. I get my 9 hours of sleep uninterrupted and that's OK with me. LOL

Ana
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Fri, 04-25-2003 - 3:44pm
On transitioning them out of the bed, I will answer for us.

We didn't get into the co-sleeping arrangement intentionally, but when dd was an infant, dh traveled alot with work. He would sometimes be gone 20 days out of the month. Even as a SAHM, I was exhausted with the new baby, my great-grandmothers needs, and living with and taking care of DHs grandpa. So, I kinda got into a habit of letting dd sleep with me. It was never really an issue. If I put her in her crib, she would sleep, if I put her in my bed, she would sleep. I think *I* needed her there more than anything...lol. Plus, IF she woke up in the middle of the night, I was right there with her. That was rare b/c she pretty much slept through the night from 3-4 weeks old.

Anyway, after DH was hurt, the military decided (in their infinite wisdom) to send him to a surgeon in San Antonio (we are in OK). He would be gone 1-3 weeks EVERY month. This went on for 2 years. DD had a horrible time with this, and really NEEDED me alot back then, so it was just natural for her to sleep in my bed, and somehow, ds started as well. lol It wasn't even every night, but when they needed it.

Now, they are 6 and 4 1/2, and still have times when they need to sleep with us. DS just came into my room 2 nights ago. DH was zonked out, and I was watching tv. He says, "mommy, I need to sleep with you". I just scooted over, and he crawled in (thank God for that new King sized bed...the Full-sized we had until 6 months ago S*CKED!).

It has become very rare for them to co-sleep with us now, but it does rarely happen, and on their own time table, they will remove themselves from our bed, and into their own rooms.

As for the sex issue....I wouldn't know, don't remember what that is!!!

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-25-2003 - 9:49pm
i dont know why, but this just busts me up!!LOL. i didnt know there was a name for it, or anyone did it on purpose.... we had a queen size bed when we got married, as we had kids, we would start out the night with just the two of us, and inevitably wake up with four in the bed. then "the little boy" came along and soon we were five. they always started out in their own beds and wanted to be in their own beds, but for whatever reason, each night(i think it just became habit)they all showed up, and i for one am not good when awaken, so i would just move over and let them come in, if they would go back to sleep. this routine only started after they moved out of their cribs. they also have always had their own rooms, so that might have something to do with their joining us every night.

it got to the point where my mom said, "beth ann, you need a king size bed, you just cant fit five people in a queen"!LOL. we did get a king, and it is heaven.

the kids eventually slacked off and stopped, but they were around 12 when they last slept with us. they all just quit doing it on their own, as we never really minded if they laid still, and went back to sleep.

there was one time when the kids were older that our ds1 slept with us, much to our surprise. he had been having trouble with a girl in school, and her boyfriend blindsided ds1, and beat him about his head and face before he could even get in a shot to defend himself. that night he went to bed, and around midnight heard a car outside, and came flying down to our bedroom and asked if he could sleep with us. i could not believe it, because he was 16 and did *not* like us, but he did that night. poor guy.

i think there are all levels of "co-sleeping", and do know other cultures do it as their norm, so i guess whatever floats your boat....personally, i never minded the kids in the bed. some people hate it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Fri, 04-25-2003 - 11:28pm
Meet one of those people.

I can't STAND to sleep with my son. It's the most unrestful, bordering on violent, experience I can think of. Ever since he was born he's slept like a tornado, and now he's a BIG tornado!

I'd fear for my life if we co-slept. And honestly, I don't even particularly like co-sleeping with the SO. I sleep so much better all by myself.LOL


Avatar for bobcatkathi
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-25-2003 - 11:34pm
Yuck! I would hate to have to sleep with kids. I like sleeping by myself. Thank goodness we have 6 beds and 5 couchs. That way I always have somewhere to sleep from the tumble bugs in this family.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 04-28-2003 - 11:09am
I guess I thought it was something different, because we do it too! haha.. DS still goes to bed in his bed, but usually we wake up with him in ours. His crib was right next to my bed for the whole time I was B/Fing because I hated getting up and going across the house in the middle of the night.. yuck! It's much easier to lean over and pick them up and stick em back in when they're done. For some reason I thought cosleeping meant you didn't even bother having a bed for the kids, and they go to sleep at night with you... I think it's good for DS to know he has his own bed and sleeps in it, even if he ends up in ours.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-28-2003 - 9:08pm
i have read on other sites, and even have a friend who have all the beds in one room. or even everyone in one bed. i cant go that far, besides its fun to decorate all those rooms!! LOL!

i only bf my babies for two months each, so they stayed in the bassinette next to me as well, and when i quit bf, they were all sleeping through the night anyway, so i didnt have to get up and fix bottles during the night. they all started coming into the bed when they were out of cribs, although, dd stayed in hers a little longer as we dragged our feet buying her a bed, so we just kept the side of the crib down, so she wouldnt get hurt climbing out.

my kids were all around 12 or 13 when they gradually stopped coming in bed, and i know thats big, but i just wanted them to sleep, and if we were all comfortable, and quiet,.....come on in, just go to sleep. LOL.

btw, when we go to our kids houses now, lots of time we will sleep three in the bed just because its that or sleep on the floor, or couch, and thats not as comfortable. its kind of hilarious.

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