What is the Real Issue Here?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
What is the Real Issue Here?
72
Sun, 06-01-2003 - 8:56pm
What is the real issue about women working outside the home?? I have a sneaking suspicion that a lot of people in society are angry and upset that women are working at jobs and "competing with men". And that is the REAL source of the anger. It actually has nothing at all to do with people worried about children not having a mom at home, or being in daycare. I feel the real issue is people are upset (especially in these hard economic times) that there are some women out there getting the jobs "that men are supposed to get". But who really wants to admit it? I mean, no one wants to admit to having such bigoted attitudes. So, they claim their concern is really for "the children".

By the way, lots of women HAVE to work and its not a choice. Anyways, not all jobs are that great. Do you really think that a woman working the night shift as a security guard, or working at Wal-Mart checking groceries is just doing so to fulfill her ego or something? come on! Its called SURVIVAL.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 12:35pm
Working while raising kids isn't exhausting. Its not even tiring.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 12:41pm
Thats EXACTLY what the sahm up the street said just last week. She's been home for 7 years, and is now looking for a job since the kids will be in school ft in Sept. Her exact works "Being with them all day, saying No You Can't to the same thing for the 5th time, zaps every ounce of energy I have".
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 3:15pm
Uh, OK, I only spent years at two of the biggest corporate giants in the world, IBM and Xerox, so I of course defer to your expertise because, as always, you are going to tell me all about the corporate world and how it works and how people aren't expendable. Why it's just like family. What was I thinking, as usual, you know it all.

By the way, what's the name of that company you work for, or is it still a secret?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 3:19pm
No, the "exectutive" level jobs were usually held by those in their mid-thirties or older, but I do have one friend who was a Senior VP of creativity for an advertising agency in NY by the time she was 30, and another who was the president of a PR agency by 30 as well. And don't even get me started with the dotcommers, heck, 30 was OLD! Lots of movers and shakers around here, it's not the backwoods you know.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 3:21pm
They aren't capable, but then again, they don't have to be.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 3:22pm
You are as always, exceptional. Clap clap clap.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 3:27pm
So when you come home from a long day at work, you don't need to say no to your kids for the 5th time that evening and have them zap your energy? Or is that why you shuttle them off to all those activities, that eliminates the tiresome task of actually dealing with the little darlings for the entire day, not just while you're at work!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2001
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 3:50pm
I don't know - a lot of it is attitude. You can CHOOSE to be happy in many respects.

Except for the days that I have too much contact with my boss or am working >10 hours, I come home energized. I had a productive day, and I'm looking forward to being at home - even if that is doing more chores, like dishes and cooking and cleaning.

As far as having "saying no to the kids" sapping your energy, I would imagine that being with your kids for 15 waking hours is vastly different from being with them for 7 or 8 waking hours.

It really depends on the individual. I have one friend in particular who came to work energized, worked a full day, and went home to be the most patient, loving, relaxed, happy mother I've ever seen to this day. Her lifestyle worked for her. She's also the highest ranking woman ever in that particular organization (60 year history). She can do both.

Not everyone can *do* both. If you can't, or don't want to, don't. I see many people here working FT with kids, and "shuttling" them everywhere - but that's what they WANT to do. The parents love being actively involved in more than one outside activity, and the kids do too. (If a child gets sick of an activity, they drop it.) Some people LIKE being very active.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2001
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 3:54pm
Does it have to be about the money? My FIL is a lawyer who worked from home and had his own practice. For many years, they just scraped by. He wanted to be self-employed, however, so that's why he did it.

If they are happy in their positions, do they want to change? On what planet is it "fair" for peteynjoeysmom's husband to work 60-90 hours per week to make $300K per year so she can enjoy staying home. Particularly if neither one is happy. He could be miserable working hard and never seeing the kids or his wife. She could be miserable not working at a career she loves. How on EARTH is that a good thing? It's not. Not for anybody.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 4:00pm
OK, I'm wrong. I'm the only person who would find working a full-time, full-tilt career and managing a family and household to be exhausting and not particularly appealing. Obviously the majority of women thrive on non-stop activity, even if it's coming home from a 10 hour workday to homework help, laundry and dishes, and I'm just a lazy sot.

I guess all the superwomen hang out at ivillage.

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