Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior

Avatar for cmpat
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Registered: 02-21-2003
Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior
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Mon, 01-10-2011 - 2:51pm

Can a regimen of no playdates, no TV, no computer games and hours of music practice create happy kids? And what happens when they fight back? excerpt copied from the Wall Street Journal

...Despite our squeamishness about cultural stereotypes, there are tons of studies out there showing marked and quantifiable differences between Chinese and Westerners when it comes to parenting. In one study of 50 Western American mothers and 48 Chinese immigrant mothers, almost 70% of the Western mothers said either that "stressing academic success is not good for children" or that "parents need to foster the idea that learning is fun." By contrast, roughly 0% of the Chinese mothers felt the same way.

Instead, the vast majority of the Chinese mothers said that they believe their children can be "the best" students, that "academic achievement reflects successful parenting," and that if children did not excel at school then there was "a problem" and parents "were not doing their job." ... more

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Personal Note: I graduated from a large HS in Calgary in '74 and even then the Chinese students were predominantly on the top of the honor roll and they also drove the best cars! These study results are not a revelation to me -- what does surprise me however, is the use of the word 'superior'. I view it more that children have a variety of strengths and differences based on culture and environment..., your thoughts?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Tue, 01-11-2011 - 4:34am

Meh.

************

Kitty

"If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing."-- Kingsley Amis, British novelist, 1971 t .

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2007
Tue, 01-11-2011 - 10:36am

One of the main reason WHY I never stressed academics to the point of other cultures was the suicide rates of those other cultures.

              *Praying for my best friend, my Dad*


 &n

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2007
Tue, 01-11-2011 - 10:45am

THIS explains it:

I rolled up my sleeves and went back to Lulu. I used every weapon and tactic I could think of. We worked right through dinner into the night, and I wouldn't let Lulu get up, not for water, not even to go to the bathroom. The house became a war zone, and I lost my voice yelling, but still there seemed to be only negative progress, and even I began to have doubts.

This child was 7 years old. And her toyhouse, dolls were held for ransom, she was threatened with no gifts for the next 4 years....and couldnt even get a glass of water until she got this peice of music.

She got it. So the heck what?

She got called garbadge, threatened, held hostage all so her mother could be the best and give up SO much for her child.

Sorry, the child lost.

              *Praying for my best friend, my Dad*


 &n

Avatar for cmpat
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Registered: 02-21-2003
Tue, 01-11-2011 - 10:48am

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Registered: 11-22-2000
Tue, 01-11-2011 - 10:55am
albinismmum wrote:

THIS explains it:

I rolled up my sleeves and went back to Lulu. I used every weapon and tactic I could think of. We worked right through dinner into the night, and I wouldn't let Lulu get up, not for water, not even to go to the bathroom. The house became a war zone, and I lost my voice yelling, but still there seemed to be only negative progress, and even I began to have doubts.

This child was 7 years old. And her toyhouse, dolls were held for ransom, she was threatened with no gifts for the next 4 years....and couldnt even get a glass of water until she got this peice of music.

She got it. So the heck what?

She got called garbadge, threatened, held hostage all so her mother could be the best and give up SO much for her child.

Sorry, the child lost.

She


Avatar for cmpat
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Tue, 01-11-2011 - 1:52pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Tue, 01-11-2011 - 6:47pm

:)

************

Kitty

"If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing."-- Kingsley Amis, British novelist, 1971 t .

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2009
Tue, 01-11-2011 - 6:54pm
EEKKK!!!!! this gave me chills and not the good kind! I agree with you, Im not one to push academics to the point of extreme. They know what i expect and know there is a consequence if they do not follow thru. Other than that, i let them be...'
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Registered: 10-22-2009
Tue, 01-11-2011 - 6:56pm
ITA with you....well said!
Avatar for rollmops2009
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Registered: 02-24-2009
Wed, 01-12-2011 - 3:32am

My BIL/SIL have always been a little like "Chinese" parents (as portrayed in the article). I also know many Greek parents who use similar methods, like the mother in dd's elementary class who had a separate set of school books for herself, so she could make sure she stayed abreast of every lesson.

The biggest downside I have seen with kids raised this way is that they don't have any idea what they like, no real opinions about anything, and an excessive need to say/do what they think the other person wants them to say or do. Many of them get excellent grades (although that is not a given even), but they are sort of empty, and I can't imagine that makes for a very successful life in any of the ways that count to me.

Sounds like you did a good job of giving your kids guidance and some principles to work from, but not at the expense of their developing their personalities and individual strengths.

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