For WOHMs, is work a vacation?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
For WOHMs, is work a vacation?
20
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 4:12pm

Had an interesting conversation with a fellow mom at DS's school today, and figured I'd de-lurk to post this question. Do moms who WOH feel as though their days spent working away from the kids are like vacation days? The mom I was talking with is a physician (hematology and oncology), and works full time. She had just returned from vacation with her family (she has a DH and two kids, 3 and 7), and said she couldn't wait to get back to work because *that* is her vacation. Spending a week with her kids, day in and day out (they didn't go anywhere on this vacation. The kids just had time off, so she and DH took off, too), made her more exhausted than her regular day job. There was also another mom there, a part-time jewelry seller, who agreed with the doctor about her work vs. SAH days.


So, I found this woman's comment interesting (especially considering her job, which isn't exactly

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 4:30pm

I guess it all depends on what you consider relaxing or a vacation.

Tonya
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 4:38pm
I need to get a new job! LOL! No, work doesn't feel like "vacation." But it *is* less *physically* demanding than being with my toddler.

Edited to add: I can see how, though, WOH gives me a little more time to myself vs. if I were SAH. I know that if I SAH, I'd rarely be on the message board!


Edited 4/14/2004 4:41 pm ET ET by iaudrey00

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 4:46pm

BWahahahahahaha.


Yeah. Its a vacation to sit on the phone with tech support for 2 hours to figure out why $16,000 didn't get billed to your members so now you're out that income.


Yeah. Its a vacation to sit in a 7:30am board meeting and listen to report that have nothing to do with your job.


Yeah. Its a vacation to run your monthly numbers and realize you're way under budget and need to do some major fast talking or overtime to justify your existence this month.


Yeah. Its a vacation.


I enjoy my job. I really do. but it is WORK. and HARD WORK. Is it a break from my kids? Well, yeah. But then again, my kids are a break from work.


Do I work to "get away" from my kids? Nope. I do, however, enjoy the mental/emotional/societal benefits i get from my job. That I wouldn't get if I SAH.


Its not what I leave behind each day that makes me want to work ... its what I go TO each day that makes me want to work.


Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 4:46pm
A break?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 5:05pm
i fail to see how teaching 4 classes, running a daily teacher team meeting, disciplining students, grading papers and doing lesson plans qualifies as a vacation.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-1999
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 5:17pm
Is work a vacation? NO, but sometimes Vacations are WORK!!

I like my job OK, but it certainly isn't a vacation. I do admit freely though that after I returned to work after DD #1 was born, there were things about work that caused relief. I specifically remember sitting at my desk and realizing that I had not had the constant worry of where she was, was she awake, was she still asleep, going through my head when I was at work. I also remember savoring a true lunch break where I wasn't eating over a kitchen sink or trying to eat and BF at the same time. And I could run to the store to get something without having to change her diaper, get her bundled up, into the carseat, only to have her start crying and want to eat, so I'd take her out, unbundle her, feed her, change her diaper again, etc. etc. etc. DD #1 was/is a very needy and demanding baby and I was new at it and still learning the logistics of motherhood.

But that doesn't make work a vacation.

When kids are little, vacation is work. I had a friend who went to FL with her family. Her DH's Aunt offered them their house while they traveled elsewhere. My friend came home absolutely livid. She said that while her husband golfed all day, she prepared breakfast, did laundry, did the dishes, took the kids to the beach, prepared lunch, took the kids to the pool, prepared dinner, did the dishes again, etc, etc etc. The aunt and uncle had stocked the refrigerator and the DH didn't want to "offend" them by not eating their food. She didn't even get to eat breakfast out, one of her favorite vacation activities (mine too!).

She let DH have it before the vacation was over. LOL!!

I remember vacations too where I spent the entire time entertaining the kids. I never had a moment without them. They were too little for me to lounge by the pool while they swam. I had to be in there with them. We even slept in the same room as them. And in the evenings, I went to bed at the same time as them because, what else could I do? I couldn't watch TV, couldn't leave them alone, etc. Most of our vacations are connected to band jobs so often DH is working a good portion of the time. That leaves me and the kids to fend for ourselves. Once I didn't even have a car, so we had to do everything within walking distance of the hotel. There wasn't much within walking distance.

Basically, caring for kids is work, whether you are on vacation or not. I savor the overnight trips DH and I have without them and even the business trips where I have an entire evening in a hotel by myself. I can order room service, watch cable, etc. without anyone calling "MOMMMMMIIIIIEEEEEE"". LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 7:50pm
Actually, I was wondering what kind of kids she had, LOL. I think the gist of what she was saying, and maybe I didn't make this clear enough, is that her days at work were less tiring and stressful than her days at home with the kids, not that her days at work *are*, in and of themselves,
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 7:52pm
No, I don't see it that way either, and I don't think this doc meant that. What she seemed to be saying was that her days at work were less exhausting than her days at home with the kids, and that's what made them like a vacation. I don't think she was saying that her work was equal to a summer at the beach, just more relaxing than being at home.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 7:57pm
Yes, I see what you mean here, and I think that's what this doc was getting at. My DH travels for
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 8:01pm
Honestly, I don't think she was literally equating her work with a sunny vacation. I think her point was that her days at work weren't as tiring or stressful as her days at home. I think the word "vacation" was just used because she had just returned from a so-called vacation, and was more tired than before she took off.

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