Another BM to SM List
Find a Conversation
|Wed, 08-25-2010 - 10:57am|
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Here is a commentary on the original article:
Here's the "list" itself:
1) Be a role model. Show the children how a woman acts and takes care of the household. My kids had to see a relationship fail once, so make sure they see love and respect.
2) I am their mother. Don’t ever try and take my place! Be there for them but know your role and never introduce them as YOUR kids!
3) Keep communication open. As hard as it might be sometimes make sure you talk with the mother about her kids (good and bad)
4) Don’t talk bad. Yes there are bad mothers out there! But its not your business. Don’t make a child feel they have to choose between the two families! Children are innocent and have the right to love someone even with faults
5) Be apart of their lives. Weather its full, primary, or partial custody its your job to be there! It will show the child and mother you want to be a great influence. Pluses you got something to talk to the child about!
6) Love them for them. Don’t try and change them. Don’t try and turn them into what YOU believe they should be.
7) Don’t compare them to your child. Every kid is different! They learn, play, and socialize in a way that’s comfortable for them.
Be a mediator. They will fight with their family and friends. Its your job to listen not to put fuel on the fire. Tell the father or mother what the child is telling you what’s going on.
9) Learn from them. Children have a remarkable way of showing us our flaws. Don’t take it as an insult or reason to run away.
10) Be willing to negotiate rules. Yes each house will have different rules but really look at how important it really was before you punish the other house with keeping up with a grounding or taking away of a favorite toy! I bet the mother will see your flexibility and will become more supportive and flexible with you as well.
11) Selfless! You must be able to share your husband with his kids. Yes there are days you will come home and want to talk to your husband but wait till the kids go to bed! (That’s if he doesn’t get them all the time) If he has a annual camping trip with the kids before school starts up, don’t invite yourself or complain a week is to long.
12) You are his wife, but I am the mother of his children. I’m not saying I’m better then you! I’m saying he has a responsibility to take care of his kids, and part of that is making sure his kids mother is okay! So when he says I got to drop my car off at___ because hers broke down and needs to get to work… Don’t complain! Realize its for the good of the kids.