Blogs and Message Boards

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2009
Blogs and Message Boards
4
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 10:00am

Why do you participate on this message board? Do you have a blog in which you write about issues with your ex/DH/step-family? Do you feel that participating on this website, other step-family forums, blogs, etc is correlated to how much thought you give the situation?


I know a lot of people mentioned how much time the BD who writes the PEW blog has and how obsessed he is with his ex. I don't necessarily disargee, but at the same time, I know every so often I spend quite a bit of time on these forums myself, or on other blogs and it has nothing to do with caring or not caring about the ex or our step-family issues. I'm just bored at work and it's something to talk about.


What is the difference between us debating on here and others maintaining a blog about step-family issues? Not just the PEW one, but other blogs as well. There are hundreds out there, probably thousands. Where does it cross the line from venting/boredom to obsessed?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2010
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 10:14am

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Mostly I stay here because I'm opinionated and like to argue with others who are opinionated and like to argue as much as I do. It drives people up the wall when I do it offline so I leave it all here. :)

I'd say this board has helped shape my way of seeing the whole thing. There are plenty of ways I could have gone about the sitch but thanks to reading view points of other people who might not see things the same way I do, I can read those, take it on board and stop and think, maybe they have a point.

On the whole the sitch has improved at least 3 times over to what it was last year.

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I think there's a major difference between discussing your situation (while trying to figure out a solution) and going out of your way to try and demonise the OP while you're at it. On this board we generally label them as BM/BD/SM/SF sux.

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Us debating on here, like I said, is discussing common issues and learning what other people think. We generally try and stay away from flaming the OP. It wouldn't be much of a debate board if everything was one-sided. That would be boring.
Those other sites can't seem to do that. Some are venting. I don't mind an occasional vent. Obsessive is when you pick at every little thing regarding the OP as if you're some kind of saint.

No one's perfect, but I say better dust off your own doorstep first.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 10:20am
I participate on this site for the insight I get from so many different viewpoints. I can ask for insight on improving my own situation, and maybe offer something of value to someone else here.
I think the big difference between posting somewhere like here and posting somewhere like a personal blog about how much you hate your ex are two totally different things and serve two very different purposes.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2007
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 10:23am

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Ditto.


I like the site because it's interesting and I don't know that many IRL people who are dealing with blended famiy dynamics. Also, if I discuss with the IRL people I know, it might get back to BM. Less likely to happen here.


Sometimes things go overboard here, but a lot of it is pretty constructive, IMO.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 10:32am

Because I like to debate on teh interwebz. I also like the ladies here, specifically; despite being fake internet friends, they are made of awesome and win.

Yes, I have a blog. Just like I said in the other thread. I talk about my quilts and my antique sewing machines. sometimes I make fun of political issues. Sometimes I just vent about stuff that bugs me. I posted a whole series of pictures when I reorganized my pantry as part of an online kitchen decluttering project.

I DON'T whine about my ex and his wife. I like my ex and his wife. I have a limited POA to pick up their kids from school if their ever not available (and living in the DC area in the wake of 9/11, that's a good thing to have). They aren't perfect; they're flawed human beings. So am I. I'm sure I bug the living crap out of them sometimes, just like they bug the living crap out of me sometimes. But so do all the OTHER members of my family (and yes, I consider them family).

The difference is, self awareness. The people here (even the ones whom I disagree with most often) have a keen grasp on their own fallibility. They may not ever give an inch in debate, but that doesn't mean they don't know they can be wrong. None of them considers herself a powerless martyr.

Based on that blog and that message board? Mr.M is completely delusional. (which is my opinion and subject to being wrong, but as evidence I show you--his blog and that message board on it)

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Kitty

"I suppose it is unfortunate that "I counting isn't me strong suite" any more than "you grammar and spelling is you strong suite". We'll all just have to struggle through, huh?"--From the Immortal Wisdom of Xyro

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"If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing."-- Kingsley Amis, British novelist, 1971 t .