Difficult BM/BD situation....
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|Sun, 09-26-2010 - 5:21pm|
BM does not want BD to see their kids and has control for now over whether or not that happens. BD filed in March to force the issue and the court date was in July. A partial hearing happened in July and it was adjourned with the stipulation that BD could refile in October and at that point the judge might require them to go to mediation. Judge also said he really did not want to see them in court again and didn't understand why they couldn't get together and come to an agreement.
While BD has had very few visits with kids in the past 12 months, he had been having extensive FB and text contact. During the hearing in July the amount of contact came to light (not sure if BM was aware of how much). 3 days after court, their daughter unfriended BD on FB with no explanation. When he tried to contact her, he got a text from BM telling him that DD did not want to talk to him and if/when she did, she would contact him. He decided to let it go for then because DD was going to turn 18 in 3 weeks. He sent DD a b-day card and then tried to call her on her cell. He got a recording saying his number had been blocked from her cell.
At this point, he still has FB contact with his son, but he thinks he has been blocked from DS's cell too, because DS has said he has not received the last several texts BD sent. BD has not called the number because he thinks DS does not know that he has been blocked and is not prepared to bring it up at this point.
BD has emailed a few times to see about seeing the kids (really just DS at this point since DD is now 18). He did receive a response from BM to one where he also asked if she could help him understand why DD was upset with him. She has not responded to anything regarding visits. Her response was basically that DD was upset because 1)BM had to go to court (BD never spoke to either kid about court so BM must have) 2)DD thinks some of his emails are not being written by him but by his girlfriend (he has never emailed DD)3) DD was upset that DD's mother (her gma) came to graduation (even though DD was the one who sent BD the invitations for his family for him to send out).
The other thing that was mentioned was that BM is hesitant to have contact with BD because if she lets him see the kids he uses it against her in court and if she doesn't, then he uses that against her in court.
At this point, BD does plan to go back to court. He also plans to request they not be required to mediate based on the fact that he has tried repeatedly to work with BM without any success. He is also considering whether or not to try to tell the kids his side of things, seeing as it seems obvious that BM is and is trying to get the kids to side with her against BD and it is working.
How is the best way to deal with this? Yes, I understand that this is the debate section and I am hoping that as the debate ensues it will bring out the good/bad ideas and possible consequences of those ideas.