Do you think there should be a day for Stepmoms?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Do you think there should be a day for Stepmoms?
Fri, 10-26-2012 - 3:26pm

I was reading an article from ABCNews on dealing with divorce, and the addition of a stepmother into a family.  It talked about the resentment and anger the birth mom had to work through, how she eventually was able to make peace and they found a way to co-parent together.  The following from the article really stuck out to me:

The two mothers — mom and stepmom — and Jeff Levenson now attend birthday parties, school concerts and sporting events together, thanks to the critical changes they've made in their relationships.

The rules include: no bad-mouthing; respect rules and routines; and empathize, don't judge. But with all their advances, there's still some emotional territory left to navigate when it comes to one special day: Mother's Day.

"It is a very sensitive topic," Debi said. "And I don't know that I ever will want to share Mother's Day with her."

You can read the complete article at:  

Do you think that it's the birth mom's "right" to have Mother's Day all to herself?  Do you think that stepmoms deserve a day of honor all their own?  

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2009
Sat, 10-27-2012 - 7:38pm

This is one of those area where I have to stop and think "how would I feel if my BKs had a stepmom". I appreciate that my DH appreciates how much "mothering" I do for his children and ensures they do something for me on Mothers' Day. I would be thrilled if they wanted to do something for me for Mothers Day on their own but am not sure they would if not prompted. Maybe that is due to their age and/or the fact that typically the other adults in their life take care of things and provide direction and assistance before they themselves can. If the shoe were on the other foot though, I'm sure I'd feel nobody could take enough of a mothering role in my BK's life but, MAYBE the difference is, any SM they would have would be an e/o weekend parent to them where-as I am 50/50 parent to SKs. I would be hurt if there was NO formal appreciation shown by DH and THRILLED if it came from my SKs.