Family, blah!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2011
Family, blah!
Wed, 11-21-2012 - 1:50pm

So my ex and I have tried to the breakup of our marriage from affecting our kids.  It's hard to always be positive especially right afterwards, but we both realized that we had to put the kids first.  As of now, it's been years since we were together and it's all in the past.

So if we can put it in the past, than why can't my relatives?  I'm about ready to just have Thanksgiving with my kids and husband to avoid some of the nasty comments that inevitiably seem to come up at every family gathering.  I don't know why my family persists on casting him as the evil perpetrator in our marriage when in reality we equally are to blame.  It's in the past, and they need to just get over it.  He is still my children's father and deserves some respect.  I don't like my kids to be witness to any negativity about their dad.   How do I tell them to just shut up?



iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Wed, 11-21-2012 - 10:46pm

I think you tell them just like that.  "Enough.  John and I BOTH made mistakes in our marriage.  We have gotten past them, and are BOTH happy with where our lives have taken us.  At the end of the day, HE is the father of my children, and I will NOT tollerate you disparaging him.  If you cannot do that, we will leave.  And every time you do it in the future, we will leave...until we are no longer attending family events.  Your choice". 

And stick to it.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14