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|Thu, 09-30-2010 - 11:08am|
BD has been paying CS faithfully for 13 years. We have always honored, with pleasure, the weekends we have my SS. We plan our lives around those weekends, and frequently have had to skip our own social activities because it is our weekend. The only times we have ever switched weekends around is for one time events...weddings and such. We don't ever skip weekends with him. We are happy with this because we love him and feel it is very important for him to feel a part of our family, including our toddler.
Well, my SS is getting older, and he is starting to get invited to things with friends. (He never really had friends before, so there was never a problem with him coming on our weekends.) We understand the need to be flexible, especially now that he is in sports. We have no problems working around sports schedules that are mandatory or one time events like dances.
Recently, he has asked to skip a weekend because he was invited to do some things he really wants to do (not mandatory, not one time events). BD let it go once, but tried to talk to BM about it. BD requested that she support him and help to remind their son that he needs to be coming to spend his weekends with BD when they are scheduled. She blew up at BD, yelling that she doesn't even know what the kid is doing half the time, and she's not going to force him to come because it's important for him to spend time with his friends.
Yes, the court order grants BD these weekends, so she would be in breach if she let him not come without an agreement from us. However, BD's ultimate goal is to have a healthy, positive relationship with his son. So, dragging BM to court and forcing him to come spend time with his family on our weekends would do the opposite of that.
BD feels that the top priority for DS should be time with his family (especially his little brother, our son) before his friends that he sees every day. How do we get him to realize this...or how do we enforce BD's rights to his weekends without jeopardizing his relationship with his son, especially without the support of BM?