How do you handle teen issues?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
How do you handle teen issues?
3
Tue, 07-30-2013 - 4:44pm

Do you think that the biomoms/stepmoms need to have discussions on what's appropriate for the teen's age when it comes to subjects like movies, clothing choices, music, etc? 

For example, I wouldn't put it past a teen girl to talk her stepmom into buying her clothing that the biomom would feel is too revealing or grown up for her age.  How should a situation like that be handled; should the parents talk about it or the girl fess up that she knew her mom wouldn't approve?

Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Tue, 07-30-2013 - 5:05pm
In an ideal world the parents would communicate about these kinds of things. But you also have to remember that just because bio mom doesn't approve of it, doesn't mean bio dad feels the same way. If its okay at bio dad's house, then it is what it is and step-mom may easily be going by what dad approves. Each parent is going to have rules at their own house. Now its obviously wrong for the child to use it against each parent and manipulate it, but just like in a regular, non-divorced family, there are going to be times when parents do and don't agree on things.
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Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Tue, 07-30-2013 - 5:06pm

In an ideal world the parents would communicate about these kinds of things.  But you also have to remember that just because bio mom doesn't approve of it, doesn't mean bio dad feels the same way.  If its okay at bio dad's house, then it is what it is and step-mom may easily be going by what dad approves.  Each parent is going to have rules at their own house.  Now its obviously wrong for the child to use it against each parent and manipulate it, but just like in a regular, non-divorced family, there are going to be times when parents do and don't agree on things.  Unfortunately, with divorced homes, its not always a simple black and white, cut and dry thing.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Tue, 07-30-2013 - 8:49pm

Why would I, as the BM, need to talk to SM about anything?  That's what my kid's dad is for...co-parenting.  He gets to keep his spouse on board, and I get to keep mine on board.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14