How much power do you give K/SK?
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|Tue, 09-28-2010 - 12:59am|
Ok trying to find the debate question in here. Here is the situation. Man is divorced several years, marries woman who also spent several years as single parent. Man is NCP to 5 kids, 2 of them adults. Woman is CP and only parent to 2 small kids under 10. Her ExH left and basically abandoned the 2 kids and have never heard from him since they were babies.
So they meet and fall in love and get married pretty fast but both kow for sure this is what they want and have had many long and short term relationships as single people so they are sure this is real and they are not just taking the first thing that comes along. Woman's 2 kids love SD from the start and start calling him Dad as soon as the engagement is anounced. Man's children seem to be happy but have a few issues with BM freaking out and demanding info and saying they can't go to wedding etc.
So after the wedding the 2 adult children start causing a lot of issues. 20 yr old DD even causes drama at wedding that has Dad close to tears, then plays alot of games on and off for first 18 months. But has recently admitted she didn't give woman and kids much of a chance and it trying to reconcile. 18 DS is ok at first but soon develops some very real jealousy issues with the 2 young children. Throws fits, treats them and SM badly, says very very rude this to SM and treats kids like crap. SM is trying to be detached and just smiles and plays nice to kids when they come to visit. Now 18 DS has refused to come visit in 10 months because he got in trouble for shooting the 8 yr old SB in the back with a pellet gun. Only time SM ever lost it and yelled at him and also got into it with 15 yr old SD when she started getting snippy with SM saying I had no right to be mad.(yes I am SM) But in my eyes an adult child SHOT my 8 yr old. Only caused a welt but I was flaming mad. Even then I just chewed him out for being such a brat and took the gun and wouldn't let him have it back till he went home. I don't think it was unreasonable at all and if he were my full son I would have bent him over my knee for it.
DH agreed with me and got after son just as much. Well SS took it that dad is choosing new kids over him and has been a brat ever since. Has demanded that Sbros not be allowed to call his dad, dad and that he will not see DH as long as it is going on. DH has informed him that is not going to happen that he is every bit as much their Dad as he is theirs.
So I guess the debate is is DH wrong for not letting his DS run the show? Should he give in a little to apease him? Since he is an basically an adult would your answer change if he was only 10?