Judge Orders BM to Stop Breastfeeding

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Judge Orders BM to Stop Breastfeeding
5
Thu, 11-14-2013 - 1:26pm

A Pennsylvania mom is upset that a judge has ordered her to stop breastfeeding her 10 month old daughter so the dad can have overnight visits: 

"I'm feeling frustrated, hurt," Moser said. "I'm trying to keep myself from crying, it's very emotional."

Jasmine is still breastfeeding and won't drink from bottles, Moser explained to the outlet. The mother stressed she's "very passionate" about her right to breastfeed and believes "breast is best" at her daughter's age.

Indeed, the World Health Organization recommends children be breastfed exclusively during the first six months and then gradually receive complementary foods, in addition to breast milk, until age 2.

However, the way courts take breastfeeding into consideration during custody proceedings -- if they do at all -- is generally determined on a state-by-state basis, according to the International Lactation Consultant Association.

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/12/judge-orders-mother-breastfeeding-jessica-moser_n_4262206.html?utm_hp_ref=parents&ir=Parents

Do you think that breastfeeding trumps a dad's right for time with their child?  Is there an age where your opinion would change, such as if the biomom does extended breastfeeding?  What about if the biomom chooses to breastfeed for longer so that the dad's custody times are cut short?

I'm going to throw another scenario out there, what if you have circumstances where the step-mom could breastfeed the child, would that be acceptable?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Thu, 11-14-2013 - 6:08pm

First, I don't think that stepmom EVER has a place in breast feeding a child.  EVER.

Second, dad is parent too.  Mom can either pump or use non-breast milk.  easy peasy.  Mom might be "very passionate" about breast feeding, but that doesn't mean that Dad is.  And certainly not over Dad beinng an equal parent.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2011
Fri, 11-15-2013 - 3:14pm

I have mixed feelings over this.  First off, I don't think a judge should be allowed to tell this mom that she has to completely stop breastfeeding or could lose custody.  There are work arounds, and it's not up to a uneducated judge on how a mother should feed her child.  The mom should continue to pump throughout the weekend that the father has the girl and take it over as necessary if she can't build up a supply by the first overnight visit.  Personally, I think that the first night that the dad will have to deal with the screaming baby who wants to be breastfeed will probably solve the issue!    If this dad had no objections to her breastfeeding the baby when it was born, than I don't see why he's complaining about it now.  

If the baby was younger, such as within the first couple of months than I would feel differently.  The mom needs time to build up a good breastfeeding relationship, but should also work on adjusting the baby to a bottle as needed.  As for if the child was older, such as over 14/15 months than I would probably be more on the dad's side.  The child should be eating more solid foods and needs to start adjusting to a cup.  

As for the stepmom breastfeeding the child,  never, never, ever!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2011
Fri, 11-15-2013 - 3:17pm

I was curious what the law was in PA, I don't think the judge is following it: 

Section 2. Declaration of policy.
The General Assembly finds that breastfeeding a baby is an important and basic act of nurturing that must be protected in the interests of maternal and child health and family values.

http://breastfeedinglaw.com/state-laws/pennsylvania/

 

 

Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Mon, 11-18-2013 - 10:38am
I have a friend in VA that essentially went through the same thing, her son was about 9 months old when the divorce was final and the judge ordered every other weekend visitation for all the kids, including the BF'ed infant. It was hard for the mom initially, but as the story here is, the father still has the right to have those extended visitation times to bond and parent the child also. Having extended BF'ed 2 of mine, by 10 months, there is really no reason the child shouldn't be able to drink something out of a cup. The mom can pump during the weekend and send BM with the dad, or (unless there is an allergy), the child could survive the weekend on regular milk or water. Milk supply by then is established enough that if the mom pumps, and the baby drinks from a cup, there should be nor reason for nipple confusion or supply drop. I do believe (IMO), that the first 4-6 months, when that BFing relationship is still very much in flux, that overnights should not be ordered. But in general, I don't agree with the court's telling a mother that she has to stop BFing.
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Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Mon, 11-18-2013 - 10:40am
As for a step mother BFing, especially if they dad and her are already married and the infant isn't even 6-12 months old, no way no how do I want another person BFing my infant child!!
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