Making Medical Decisions

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Making Medical Decisions
Wed, 11-07-2012 - 12:12pm

I just read an article from Huffington Post where a dad is discussing his frustrations over doctors who do not follow state law in allowing him to contribute to medical decisions regarding his son:

I'm the one that makes the majority of medical decisions when it comes to my boys, I handle all the doctors visits, medication changes, vaccinations, etc.  It's just an area of parenting that my husband has never gotten involved.  I would be a bit annoyed if he suddenly wanted to be involved with it,  just because it's easier to do it on my own, but realize that he has the right to play an active role if he so chooses.  

Do you think that medical decisions should be made by one or both parents?   Also, does a stepmom have any right to become involved in making decisions if she has helped out with doctor's appointments, medical issues, etc.?  

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 11-07-2012 - 2:43pm

I think if it's a minor decision, then the custodial parent could make it alone, but a major decision should have the input of both parents unless the NCP is uninvolved.  I do not think stepparents should really have input--and legally they have no say, but unless someone is asking them to care for the child without the parents being present I can't see why they would be consulted.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Wed, 11-21-2012 - 10:37pm

I think that the default should be that medical decisions should be made by both parents.  However, there are some parents who refuse to work with the other parent, or are not willing to follow generally acceptable treatment plan.  In that case, I think you give sole decision making authority to the parent who is working with the medical professions, following their advice, and not being obstinate with the other parent. 

No, I do not think a stepmom OR a stepdad have any right to become involved in any medical decisions, other than discussing with his/her spouse....the same as a grandparent, neighbor, or family friend.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009
Fri, 01-11-2013 - 3:50pm

i think that if the father of the child wants to hear what his wife has to say over the matter and decides to follow her advice that is HIS prerogotive. as long as the father has the right to make decisions it doesn't matter what has influenced his decision. as long as the step mom isn't the one at the doctor's office demanding things need to be done. its no different than the mother of the child listening to advice given to her by her mother.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2011
Fri, 02-15-2013 - 10:24pm

My husband has sole custody of my SS and I am the person that takes my SS to well checks, dentist aappointments, sick visits, eye appointments, therapy visits, etc. My husband tries to go with me but can't always. Minor decisions I don't mind making, but I will not make major decisions that's between DH and BM. Unfortunately BM has made several bad choices to where she is not involved very much, but my husband and I keep her informed.