NRP and Haircuts

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2008
NRP and Haircuts
56
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 11:48am

Kids get home from weekend with NRP. Kid says "stbSM says she'll buy me an xbox 360 if I cut my hair like dad's for the wedding."


NRP and RP have disagreed over haircuts before, as RP wished to have both kids hair a certain length for her wedding (prior to either child expressing a preference) and NRP buzzed it all off for his sister's wedding 3 months earlier, expressly against RP's wishes.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2010
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 11:55am

I have to say a haircut is just a haircut. On boys it's not a real loss (unless it was LONG and took a lot of effort).
It's not as if it's their first hair cut, I'm sure that's not a hill you're willing to die on.

I do think haircuts should be discussed with CP before going ahead mind you.

What I do have a problem with is promising the kid an xbox. I think if you're going to promise something like that BOTH parents need to have had this discussion and agreed on it. If CP says no, then naturally CP is the bad guy because kid goes without his shiny spanking new games console.
You might also want to hope that NCP is willing to follow up on that. For example, already having purchased the xbox and still deciding whether to give it to kid now (After following through with the haircut.. or in the case of if CP says no, arranging another deal eg. keeping bedroom tidy until further notice.) or on a later date like their bday or christmas.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 11:57am

eh, i just wish SPs would stay out of hairstyling decisions for skids....thats just not even a blip on my radar and i can't imagine why it is for others.


this isn't to say SP can't 'run the errand' and take skid to the barbershop on parents behalf, or that SP can't brush a skids hair in a pinch.


so sorry i have no helpful response to you MrsT except my wish SM would just butt out of your sons hair choices :)...and to say it sounds like he has a cute style now that would look great in his dads wedding anyway.


and yea, i do get your point re: the x-box issue.

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2009
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 11:59am

eh, i just wish SPs would stay out of hairstyling decisions for skids....thats just not even a blip on my radar and i can't imagine why it is for others.>>>

Two words "fantasy wedding"

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 12:02pm

"stbSM says she'll buy me an xbox 360 if I cut my hair like dad's for the wedding."

That is so, so wrong.

If the child doesn't want his hair cut and he can keep it neat and looking nice, then IMO he shouldn't have to cut his hair. I know my 6 year old is very vocal about the way he likes his hair, and gets upset if someone tries to force him to have it otherwise.





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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2010
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 12:04pm

I have to say I'm in charge of DSD's hair styles when she's at our house.

I wouldn't go near it with a pair of scissors or take her to get it cut, but as far as tying it up goes, that's all on me.

SO tries, but he can barely pull it back into a pony tail. He says he only needs to practise. Well, DSD is a little impatient and probably doesn't want to be SO's guinea pig for too long. I have offered my own hair to him to practise on if he's that dedicated. ;P

BM does approve of my hairstyle choices, we've had this conversation and often take ideas from one another and take advantage of the hair accessories that get passed around :D

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2008
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 12:09pm

--What I do have a problem with is promising the kid an xbox. I think if you're going to promise something like that BOTH parents need to have had this discussion and agreed on it. If CP says no, then naturally CP is the bad guy because kid goes without his shiny spanking new games console.--


Well, the xbox thing I don't get a say in. It is BD's house and he can make the decisions. I haven't spoken to BD about this (since it literally came out last just this week) nor do I intend to. I just wondered, what in the world makes a stbSP make a statement like that.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2008
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 12:16pm

I used to do skid's hair all the time because DH tries, but has zero skill and she always left looking like a rag-a-muffin. at some point though, I realized it doesn't really impact me. The only time I request to do her hair is if we are going somewhere. It's always hanging in her face and drives me bonkers! but it doesn't bother her, so whatevs. She does it now for the most part and I figure she'll get better at it, or ask me to help if people make negative comments.


I am the official "gynmastics hair" person though.


Several years ago (4 I'd guess), I had skid with me while I was getting my kids' hair done. she asked to have hers cut. I had her call her dad and he said it was ok. BM FLIPPED out. I don't know why, it was literally a trim, and I think it was because *I* took her (although really she was just along for the ride not there to have her hair cut).


Several years later now and we (me/dh) are the only one's who take her for a haircut. The last time BM took her for a hair cut, it was to chop it up to her ears 4 days before our wedding when DH asked her to wait to cut it until after the wedding (ya know, 5 days later than when she took her). Whatever, her hair came out really cute for the wedding and BM hasn't taken her for a hair cut since then.


blended families and the dynamic is just weird.



iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 12:28pm

eh, i just wish SPs would stay out of hairstyling decisions for skids....thats just not even a blip on my radar and i can't imagine why it is for others.


Actually for some families, this is not even an issue that SP handles haircuts. DH has been my son's barber for 9 years, BD has no issue.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2010
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 12:29pm

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I'm not really affected if she goes out with her hair looking like a bird's nest. But it does bother DSD having hair hanging in her face, and it bothers SO that she keeps playing with it when it does. SO likes her hair to be tidy when she goes out. BM has said she prefers her hair when I do it because SO cannot do tidy hair.
(He's a skin head. Little/no hair = no fuss)

I started doing her hair because he asked me to. He knows he's useless at it. So after many months of asking, it just became routine.

He refuses to practise on my head so I offered to buy him a barbie head (;P). No such luck. But I have promised him DSD won't sit quietly long enough for him to experiment. Years of practise got us girls to where we are.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2008
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 12:37pm

LOL. Thankfully I have an extremely patient skid. I rarely do my hair, literally I don't even brush it outside of the shower.


She had to sit for over an hour while I learned a basket weave and then over an hour (each time) to learn to do double french braids. So, when she asks me to do her hair it's because she wants something special done and she knows it may take a bit for me to get it right. The plus side is when I double french braid it, it stays in for like 2 days without really getting roughed up, so she can roll out of bed the next morning and go, but then we've got to take it out and wash it...



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