Oligation to step-grandchildren?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2009
Oligation to step-grandchildren?
64
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 11:35am

My mother has never really cared for my SD.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2009
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 11:43am
Huh, you mean my biokid was being left out by SGM?
A Stepparent is as much a parent as an ex-wife is a wife.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2009
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 11:53am

Yes I mean your bkid is feeling left out by SM's parents.



There's no reason that time should necessarily revert to mom.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2010
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 11:58am

~~The reason she doesn't want to include SD in everything is because SD is a huge drain on resources (always the center of attention, loud, embarassing, physically demanding, etc.) and when mom includes her she feels like she's spending all her focus on SD and not really getting quality time with my kids.~~

I can understand your Mom's feelings. TBH, my Mom struggles with this with YDSD, although I don't think she would ever talk to me about it. Bottom line is that YDSD can be overbearing, attention seeking, and rude.

What we did was simply make sure to do something with YDSD once in awhile so that my Mom could have one-on-one time with the other kids....

Is that feasible??

RSM Kitteh....  ...makin ur kidz appointmentz...
RSM Kitteh....  ...makin ur kidz appointmentz...
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2009
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 12:03pm

>>>>



What is a grandparent's role irt step-grandchildren?

Lee

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2004
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 12:07pm

How would you approach this as BM if these were your bkids and they expressed that they were feeling left out?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2007
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 12:16pm

<<>>

I think it depends on how often the skid is in the home with the bio grandkids. Are we talking about a full time skid, a 50/50 skid or an EOW skid.

As long as the gparents can treat all the kids well and close to equally in the public settings (dinners, xmas, bdays), an EOW skid isn't going to notice. for example, my child is treated very well by my husbands mother. She does one on one things with her bio grandkids that she doesn't do with my kid. no worries. My kid doesn't even know because she treats him so well when they are all together.

I don't think this would work well with a 50/50 skid or full time skid. And I wouldn't stand for it in my house. I expect my husbands parent to treat my child well. And I expect my parents to treat my skids well.

brc

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 12:16pm

>>"...as SM I would encourage DH to use that as his one on one time with his child and leave my children with my parents. As BM, I would request that BD use that as his time to spend with my children.">>



this makes sense to me too Lee.



plus too i'm thinking ~ Nikki, anyway your mom could already have your kids before SD comes over?...in this way grandma's

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2010
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 12:20pm

TBH, I wonder if this is a SK issue or a 'brat kid' issue.

My son had a difficult time from age 1.5-2.5. During that time, my Mom definitely slowed down on her one-on-one visits, no dinners out, etc.

I wonder how your Mom would feel if SK was a sweet, easy-going child?

RSM Kitteh....  ...makin ur kidz appointmentz...
RSM Kitteh....  ...makin ur kidz appointmentz...
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2009
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 12:24pm

We do try that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2009
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 12:27pm

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