parenting differences for a teen
Find a Conversation
|Tue, 09-21-2010 - 1:33pm|
I am a SM of a 15 year old boy. His parents have joint custody but he lives with BM. I have been in the picture for the last 11 years.
The relationship between us and BM is civil, but we have always had serious differences in how we handle almost everything. However, we keep our feelings to ourselves because we have found that we really have no say in what happens or does not happen when he is not with us. This is something we have come to terms with.
My problem, is that now that he's in high school, his BM seems to think that his popularity and his relationship with the new girlfriend are top priorities. We see her making decisions that could be VERY harmful to my SS.
For example...she was recently bragging to us about a party that SS was invited to by one of the senior football players. She was so excited that he was going to go to this after Homecoming party and "knew" that there wasn't going to be drinking involved because "he's an athlete."
Clearly, she is not in touch with reality. She doesn't know the senior, didn't talk with the parents, and only based her assumption about no alcohol on the idea that the kid plays football. Like I said earlier, BD and I are aware that we can't control what happens in her house. So, we talked with him about drinking and our expectations, and trusted that he would make good decisions.
Turns out we were right. He found out there was going to be drinking at the party and decided he didn't want to go. I don't know if BM was disappointed about that or what...but she decided instead...TO LET THE GIRLFRIEND SLEEPOVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They slept in the SAME ROOM with my SS on the floor right next to the bed the girlfriend was sleeping in. And, of course, she's just sure they would never try any "funny business."
Really?? So, my DH doesn't want to talk to her about it. He told his son not to mention it to any of our family (because they would freak out) and has let it go.
At what point does a BM's decision get to be so bad that we actually do have a "say" in what happens in her house!!??