Related to NCP Moms thread...
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|Wed, 09-29-2010 - 9:42am|
I have found that thread most interesting, and feel I have to write a little (or a lot as the case may be...) on it, but thought I would perhaps start a new one. I think it was zinnipin who mentioned something about education and boarding schools, which got me wondering...
Our sitch is pretty unusual. I guess you could say that at the moment, both parents are NCP:
BM and BD split, BM has primary custody, BD EOW, 1 evening a week and half the holidays. This was the status quo for 5 years or so. No court order.
BM gets made redundant. Starts her own business and says she is moving to a remote part of the country with child. Promises BD pretty much all school holidays, plus regular internet chats and phonecalls. BD can't take legal action as move is within their own country.
BM changes her mind and wants to move to a different country. Promises that contact would be the same as she had promised for move within the country, BD very reluctantly agrees, as BM promises she will be a SAHM, working from home.
BM moves with her child and her own Mother. 8 weeks later, BM returns to home town and leaves child in other country with her Mother. Refuses to return child to this country (knows that BD will prevent child from returning to foreign country). BM insists that child will stay to be educated in foreign country.
This is not what BD agreed to - BM promised she would be a SAHM with child. BM has only seen her child herself for about 4 and a half weeks in the space of nearly a year. It has been 14 months since BD has seen child (due to BM not bringing child back when she said she would, and then refusing contact if BD went there due to current Hague Convention application that is pending).
BM insists that child is happy and continually stresses the importance of child's education there.
I know this is a BM sux post, but I would value any thoughts on this situation.
Is BM right to keep her child in a different country from herself and the BD, solely to give her a better education? BD believes child should be where both parents are, and education is not as important as being raised by your parents. BM herself attend boarding school as a child, so perhaps sees being separated from your parents as not as big a deal as others.
I have posted a few bits and pieces on my sitch before, I gues this is a bit of an update as well asking your thoughts.
FYI, child is nearly 8, and we are in the UK, in principle, the Hague application has gone in BD's favour, just waiting for a court date to be set.