School visits

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2011
School visits
11
Fri, 02-15-2013 - 10:30pm

How would you feel if your ex was going to the school during your visitation and staying the entire day? The school allows it regardless that it causes your child or step child stress.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Sun, 02-17-2013 - 1:29pm

What is the ex doing at the school?  Volunteering?  Interrupting?  Sitting at the back of the room? 

I can't imagine the school would be okay with the situation if the parent was interrupting class. 

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2011
Sun, 02-17-2013 - 5:18pm

she came to meet with him and the school about issues He is having then stayed at school from that morning until lunch ate lunch with him hung out until class party then left at the end of the day. school has no problem with it even though he cried that morning and told teacher twice he didn't want to see his mother.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2011
Tue, 02-19-2013 - 4:15pm

Under these circumstances, I'd be pretty upset. She had no right to be at the school all day in that capacity, I'm sure it was a disruption. It's one thing to be a regularly scheduled volunteer, that's fine. It's completely a different story to upset the child with your presence, why would you even stay and put them through it? What was their excuse for being there all day?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2011
Tue, 02-19-2013 - 8:40pm

She wants to be more involved with school activities. That's fine, but she shouldn't have stayed all day. especially when He said He didn't want to see her. Right now we have no say so because it's public property the school will have to stop it. The messed up part is BM only sees SS two days a month because of problems we've had with her and now she can come and go from the school as she pleases because a loop hole in the court order. Ugh!

Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Wed, 02-20-2013 - 10:37am
I would in general find out what the school/district's guidelines are for visitors on campus. Most have pretty strict guidelines that people who are there that do not work there are volunteering in the classrom or there for meetings, they aren't allowed to just "hang out" during the school day. If its causing a disturbance for your son, then if it happens again I would file a complaint with the school, he's there to learn, not to have visitation with his mother, that occurs during non-school hours unless she's there specifically for a school activity. I would also bring it up during any court hearing you have in the future that while you have no problem with her being at the school for designated parties or meetings, or even an occassional lunch with the child, she should not be there at any other time disturbing his learning time. I would also see about getting documentation from his teacher or whoever showing that he was upset by her presence at the school.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Wed, 02-20-2013 - 12:03pm
What I was wondering is if the school has any restrictions on who can be in the classroom? Our school district requires background checks on any parents that want to volunteer in the classroom or at events. I'm not sure if your school has the same restrictions, but something else to bring up with the school or in court.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2011
Wed, 02-20-2013 - 6:30pm

the school does have a policy for criminal background but has not made her do one. we are going back to court but until then we have been having to bite our tongues and wait. I'm so frustrated with the school, the therapist, and everything else. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Wed, 02-20-2013 - 10:37pm
>>>she came to meet with him and the school about issues He is having then stayed at school from that morning until lunch ate lunch with him hung out until class party then left at the end of the day. school has no problem with it even though he cried that morning and told teacher twice he didn't want to see his mother.<<< I actually wouldn't have a problem with this. If she met with the school about issues the child is having, that's awesome, because it shows interest in the child. Staying at the school to have lunch with the child, awesome again. Staying for the party, fantastic. Again, if they're interrupting the class, that's an issue. And it's one I'm sure the school would not tolerate. If it's an every day thing, then I'd see an issue. A once in awhile thing? I think it's awesome.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Wed, 02-20-2013 - 10:41pm

I've actually never found a school refuse a parent the opportunity to observe the classroom.  I've done it.  I've had student's parents do it.  It's generally not a big deal.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Wed, 02-20-2013 - 10:43pm

What are the issues that has limited her time with her son?  Is she a danger to him?

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

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