Spin-off: Unreasonable and the marriage

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2009
Spin-off: Unreasonable and the marriage
18
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 7:24pm

Is it inappropriate for BM and BD to plan a party for their own child without involving SM?


Let's say

Lee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 7:37pm

<,Let's say BF and BM happen to agree on something that concerns the raising of their child, it doesn't affect SM in anyway. Does BM and DH working together have anything to do with SM's marriage? >>

As NCSM, I dont see how BM and BD agreeing on anything regarding THEIR child could ever affect my marriage.

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It says to me that they are doing a darn good job keeping me out of their parenting issues and kudos to them :)

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Sounds like a bit of insecurity on the part of any wife who actually feels this way.

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IMO, it cant. THEY are agreeing on something(s) that involves THEIR children. Great! I'm all for it

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2010
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 7:51pm

<<< <>

Sounds like a bit of insecurity on the part of any wife who actually feels this way.>>>

I agree, I'm acouraging SO to work with (rather than against) BM all the time. Even when he doesn't particularly want to. I suppose it's easy to forget when you don't get on with the OP and a gentle reminder that it's for the kids, not the parents does help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2010
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 7:53pm

What kind of party?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2009
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 8:01pm

Is it inappropriate for BM and BD to plan a party for their own child without involving SM?***


No, not if SM is ok with the fact and this has always been the norm when she got into into the relationship.


Let's say

Real SM's use Jazz Hands
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2009
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 8:06pm
Is it inappropriate for BM and BD to plan a party for their own child without involving SM?

Not at all.


Let's say

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 8:19pm
Is it inappropriate for BM and BD to plan a party for their own child without involving SM?



No. It sounds perfectly appropriate to me.



Does it say something about the quality of SM's marriage if BD and BM are co-parenting without her invovlement?



No. It says they are able to co-parent without outside help. I think it's good, and it says nothing about the quality of BD/SM's marriage.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2009
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 9:14am

>>>>


Big event like 1st communion/graduation/bday where all of BD's family is invited and SM is not?

Lee

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2009
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 9:16am

>>>>


Planning the party with BM isn't the problem, it's discussing with BM whether or not BD should invite his wife is the problem. If BD feels there will be an issue if SM goes, then that's something he has to address with his wife, not BM.


>>>>


That part was poorly stated in the original post, there was no need for discussion to invite SM because SM would not be going under any circumstances and that is known.

Lee

Lee

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2010
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 10:33am

I am all for DH and BM working together. It makes my life a very pleasant place to be vs the alternative.

I cannot speak to SM not going or never wanting to as far as parties go, I am usually the one hosting them but if I was that SM, and didn't plan on attending, I really have no business getting bent out of shape if they plan a party together for their child.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2009
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 10:50am

That part was poorly stated in the original post, there was no need for discussion to invite SM because SM would not be going under any circumstances and that is known.


Yeah, I finally got that at the end of the other thread. That being the case then I see no issue with it.

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