SS manipulation?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2012
SS manipulation?
54
Sat, 03-24-2012 - 6:47pm

I know this isn't a support board, but I know that you ladies won't hold back... so give it to me... What do you think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Mon, 04-02-2012 - 4:31pm
Maybe. Unfortunately, Dad didn't take precautions to make sure she couldn't come back into the picture.

So, the fact is that Mom did come back into the picture. The fact is that the kid is acting out. It's possible the two are not related at all. The kid is at a sucky age. It's possible the kid is acting out because of confusion and/or loyalty issues. It's possible the kid senses the tension between the adults. It's possible the mom is talking crap about Dad and/or SM. It's possible the kid has overheard Dad and/or SM talking crap about mom. Sooo many possibilities.

Regardless, if one doesn't want a child around, it's likely the child knows that. It's also possible that those feelings can fuel a negative view of anything the child does. So, kid may be doing some age-appropriate boundary testing, but negative feelings make one think that it's a deliberate attack by the kid.

At the end of the day, there's a CHILD who needs help. The adults need to get over themselves and work together to make sure the child gets what he needs.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009
Mon, 04-02-2012 - 5:12pm

and your solution is to send this child offto the woman who abandoned him? This SM is the woman is the one who cared for him all these years, but your solution is to ship him off, to a nearly complete stranger who abandoned him for YEARS

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Mon, 04-02-2012 - 5:15pm

My solution, actually, is for all the adults to grow up and work together.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009
Wed, 04-04-2012 - 9:17am

Um, hello, HIS FATHER loves him and he has to answer to him, SM isn't the only one in that house... Just because the POS mother is turning this poor boy's life upside down and TRYING to tear him away from his family who HAS been there for the majority of his life by making him feel as if he has to choose who he loves,

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Wed, 04-04-2012 - 9:24am
Oh yeah...great MOM, who doesn't want him around. That's great for kids. BAER.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009
Wed, 04-04-2012 - 9:28am

yea, that's why the MOTHER abandoned him, because she didn't want him around... at least this "mom" is sticking around... she wants him more than his own egg donor did

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Wed, 04-04-2012 - 9:52am
Sigh. I'm not sure why you think it is a competition. It's not. The situation is what it is.

I guess everyone can go around blaming each other and continue pointing fingers. Or, they, can grow up and do what they can to make things right for the child.

From experience, having a stepparent in the house who doesn't like you and doesn't want you there is damaging. I would never suggest continuing that arrangement.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009
Wed, 04-04-2012 - 10:15am

You said that you had a WONDERFUL step parent, now you are saying that you had a step parent who DIDN'T want you, your stories are highly inconsistent, as always. Which situation is better, living in a home that has always been supportive, where you have a father who always has and always will be there for you, or move in with an unstable mother (which she has proven to be already) who when you become an inconvenience to her she will dump you again (she apparently has a track record of this). You have A SERIOUS BM complex (BMs are the best home and will always stand up for a BM regardless of their character or ability to support their child)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Wed, 04-04-2012 - 10:40am
Uhhh...you are flat out lying at this point.

I have no BM complex. I'm not pro-BM or pro-BD.

In a situation of BM OR BD disappearing, I'm all for the other parent legally seeking to terminate that parents rights. This dad didn't do that, and that ship has sailed.

So, now what they have is BOTH parents involved again, and a SP who doesn't want the kid around. As a parent, I wouldn't want my kid in that household. It's damaging to the child, immeasurably.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009
Wed, 04-04-2012 - 10:56am

I am not lying, if I am wrong, please tell me what I am lying about? Perhaps you should re-read ALL your posts and replies.