SS manipulation?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2012
SS manipulation?
54
Sat, 03-24-2012 - 6:47pm

I know this isn't a support board, but I know that you ladies won't hold back... so give it to me... What do you think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Wed, 04-04-2012 - 12:14pm
You are lying regarding my beliefs. You also have no idea regarding whether the BM in this situation is "making her son feel guilty about loving his SM". If she is, she's in the wrong. I'd never say otherwise.

Regardless, an adult authority figure in the child's home who doesn't want him there, doesn't love him and doesn't like him IS hurtful to the child. I guess child's dad is okay with that. Sad.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009
Wed, 04-04-2012 - 12:23pm

there are MANY SMs who don't love thier SKs. This is actually more normal than it is not. As long as the child is being treated respectably and not being mistreated, it is acceptable, but a mother abandoning her child as she did is not

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009
Wed, 04-04-2012 - 12:29pm

and also, i said nothing about your beliefs, just the constant inconsistency of your stories

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Wed, 04-04-2012 - 12:55pm
I have no inconsistencies. Which is where your lying comes in.

You choose to ignore major parts of posts. Like when I say a child having an authority figure in their home who doesn't love them, DOESN'T LIKE THEM AND DOES NOT WANT THEM THERE causes problems.

And once again, this is not the competition you seem to want to make it.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009
Wed, 04-04-2012 - 2:33pm

You have NO inconsistencies, but on several occasions say one thing, and now you go and say something completely different? Wow.... Then I must not understand the meaning of inconsistency.... I have paid attention to you saying "a child having an authority figure in their home who doesn't love them, DOESN'T LIKE THEM AND DOES NOT WANT THEM THERE causes problems." but this is just your opinion, as well as you inferring that her not liking the way the child behaves is interfering with the way that she interacts with the child... I READ all this... And I see no need for a competition, I am just trying to make sure that this poster realizes that she is not evil, or abnormal for feeling this way. And ANYONE else who is lurking reading these posts and feeling the same thing that this poster posted... I want them to know that this does not make them evil, and they should not usher the children out of the house just because they don't feel this "magical unconditional love" that you spout that all step parents must have or they are being detrimental to these children's lives

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Wed, 04-04-2012 - 2:51pm
If you think its a positive for kids to have am authority figure in their home who dislikes them and does not want them there...have at it. I will continue to say that more likely than not, the kid knows that, and it colors the way the authority figure treats the child, which, in turn, affects how the child behaves.

My statements are and will continue to be consistent. You just cannot seem to keep up, and you like to make assumptions.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009
Wed, 04-04-2012 - 3:17pm

show me one spot where she says she treats him differently. show me one place where she says that she is acting like she doesn't want him there in her home. show me where she says she does not care for him, i think that was said in the last paragraph that she DOES care for him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Wed, 04-04-2012 - 4:24pm
Did you once again choose to only read what you want? I said most likely.

If you think its in your kids best interest to have an authority figure in their home who does not like them, who does not want them around, have at. I won't pretend that is in the best interests of kids, and I would never be okay with it for my kids.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009
Wed, 04-04-2012 - 4:41pm

and if you read what SHE wrote, she only wants him to realize that the grass in not always greener on the other side... you are so harsh with your judgment when it comes to SMs, even when she has been doing her BEST to be a mother figure to this boy. but the boy's own mother doesn't even want him, unless it is convenient to her... but you STILL raise her up on a pedestal, and think this boy's life would be better off with an unstable mother.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Wed, 04-04-2012 - 4:54pm
I'm not raising anyone up on a pedestal. If you would get out of your preconceived ideas, you would have read where I would have fully supported dad in terminating moms parental rights when she disappeared. He didn't, and now they are stuck with the situation the have.

Mom having made poor choices is not an invitation for everyone else to drop the ball. The kid is 11, for God's sake. He is going through a tough time. An authority figure who doesn't want him around is not really conducive to helping him through the situation.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14