While my divorce was pretty amicable, my friends was not.
Wondering....how long have they been apart? i.e. when did he leave?
Obviously, an affair is totally disrespectful to a partner in a marriage even if the marriage was dead already.
Tacking on one more thing.
Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14
i can sympathise with your friends pain, and she can ask for the SM not to show for things, but honestly, she can't DEMAND it,
Seems to me 1.5 years and a wedding later and I'd be thinking it's time to stop asking SM to stay away and start learning how to deal being in the same building.
That kind of betrayal is not an overnight heal. It will take her time and it is reasonable to ask that the new wife not be involved until she is able to work through it. That isn't necessarily a punishment but it is much harder to work through having it shoved down your throat. Space is needed for the benefit of everyone involved.
IMO 1.5 years is not that long - BM will still be very raw I think. I understand that she will not want SM at events, but the truth is, as others said, there is nothing she can really do. She can request, but BD may not comply.
She definitely needs to ignore SM. Don't cause a scene, esp not in front of the child. I understand that you're mad too, and I would obviously be supportive of