Talk about blended families....

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Talk about blended families....
Sun, 07-08-2012 - 10:12pm
Just looking for some general insight.... I am stepmother to two boys ages 12 and 7. They have different mothers so extra complex! The oldest is well adjusted as he has been through one blended family situation already. My husband was divorced from his wife (mother of youngest) 2 1/2 years ago now. She is erratic, unreliable and a bit manipulative. Subsequently, youngest is not as well adjusted, but when us 4 are together we usually have a wonderful time and I love our little family! Tonight his mother was a no show at her apartment for drop off time only to find out she had been in a car accident resulting from drunk driving. Poor guy was upset, he loves his mom and gets so sad when things dont go as planned with her. (he has no idea what really happened and we have him back with us now and he's happily playing games with his daddy). Feel bad for him and my husband who has had to deal with her drunken calls tonight. But I take solace in the fact that we have a stable home here and little guy is none the wiser. Anyway, my love and I are expecting a new baby this winter and recently told the boys who are equally excited. Is there anyone out there who has gone through a similar situation and has any advice or tips? It gets awfully stressful sometimes watching DH deal with multiple bio moms and lonely for me trying to find my place in this complex family. But the blogs and forums out there do help a great deal! Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2008
Re: Talk about blended families....
Sun, 07-29-2012 - 1:01pm

Me and my DH had to go through a similar situation (and still are), but it had to do with drugs and bad people BM had around SS. I agree with rangerfan2011 about considering getting sole custody of your ss. Document the accidents, the drinking, the drunken calls, if your ss gets upset about having to go to her house, his mood when he comes home, etc. I would highly recommend a therapist with him, that has helped my SS deal with a lot of the issues he has with his mom. Because we had to accept that we could not fix my SS and his mom's relationship. But the therapist helps him deal with his mom's manipulative behavior, having to lie for her, and just having to deal with the stress of having to go from 2 different homes. Congrats on the baby! When I had my son, it was like a breath of fresh air for my family. It gave my SS a purpose, he became the big brother, and loves his new responsibilities (helping my DS build a lego house, coloring together, teaching him how to say something.) Wish you luck!