Weeknight dinner

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2010
Weeknight dinner
71
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 10:38am

If a LD NCP were to travel to the CP's city of residence and request a weeknight dinner with child not stipulated in the court order, do you think the CP should try to allow it? If CP doesn't allow it, do you think the NCP would be wrong to "visit" the child at school or watch xcurr after school while in-town.

Why or why not? (outside the obvious "legally not obligated")

*NCP is not an uninvolved, irresponsible or dangerous parent.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 10:45am

"If a LD NCP were to travel to the CP's city of residence and request a weeknight dinner with child not stipulated in the court order, do you think the CP should try to allow it?"

I think so. I'm sure if it were reversed they would want the OP to allow it. I know I would and have always let my ex see the kids when he was in our town, it wasn't often but when he was in town I did.

" If CP doesn't allow it, do you think the NCP would be wrong to "visit" the child at school or watch xcurr after school while in-town."

I see nothing wrong with a parent going to eat lunch or whatever with their kids at school and they would probably like their parent watching their EC too.

I just think it's the right thing to do and I know I'd want the same if the roles were reversed.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2010
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 10:52am

The only glitch I see with visiting them at a public place, like school, is the child knows they are in town and it might put the CP in an awkward position if they declined allowing a dinner.

Should NCP keep it to his/her-self that they asked for a weeknight dinner with him/her?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2009
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 10:55am

I think whether CP should accomadate is somewhat based on whether NCP accommodates CP.

A Stepparent is as much a parent as an ex-wife is a wife.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2010
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 10:57am

"NCP showing up at school, absent a public event (eg winter musical) never a good idea."

Why?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2008
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 10:58am

I'm dealing right now with an entitled NCP with an ego the size of Mt. Rushmore, so it would depend on how the question was phrased.


So, no, I am not obligated to do so--and suggestion that I AM obligated or required will end the conversation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2009
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 10:59am

What exactly do you mean by NCP showing up at school?

A Stepparent is as much a parent as an ex-wife is a wife.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2008
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 11:00am

No.


"I wish I could take you to dinner, but Dad said you already had plans tonight."

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2010
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 11:02am

<>

Why are you bringing up Dany -again-?
To make a dig, start an argument?

She hasn't even said anything in this thread and already you're on her.
Plus the reference you made to her is totally irrelevant to the discussion and seems more of an attack on her character.

Whatever she said recently that annoyed you- get over it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2010
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 11:04am

Well, I'm going to disagree with you on the feelings of entitlement by a NCP. I think any parent has a right to feel entitled, CP and NCP. It's their child. I think when one parent has the lion's share of parenting time over the other when both are fit parents...I just can't share your opinion they aren't equally entitled to desiring as much time with the child as possible.

I think my DD would love for me to show up at her after school cross-country practice because she is deliberately following my footsteps and influence in that xcurr choice. It would flatter her for me to take an interest in it and give my two cents on training. I'm a runner. Lettered in high school. Went on to win multiple races as a young adult. When she "visits" me, we go running together in the morning as alone time, just the two of us.

My struggle is going to be not telling her I asked for a weeknight dinner and her father (once I do) declined (if he does). The trip out is short notice and even then, weeknight dinners is not anything I can legally give notice for.

I thought this would make good debate material considering how either parent handled it...CP or NCP.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2009
Sat, 08-21-2010 - 11:08am

My point is accomadation is a two way street.

A Stepparent is as much a parent as an ex-wife is a wife.

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