What do you think about SM coming in and educating the BF about the court order...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009
What do you think about SM coming in and educating the BF about the court order...
125
Tue, 04-10-2012 - 9:22am

BF has been going with the flow, what ever BM decides is what BF gets, and it has been working out fine between them.... Then along comes SM doesn't like how this works, HATES living with what BM decides, and NEVER knowing when SK is going to be around, just has to be ready when ever, or gets disappointed when SK doesn't come around for holidays. SO SM decides to read court order and educate the BF as to what he is SUPPOSED to get, and BM is now PISSED because she no longer gets what she wants, and has to abide by the court order. which in turn she looses out on time that she has gotten used to and BF now gets ALMOST half of the time with SK, between EOWE, holidays, thursdays, 4 weeks during the summer and the child being in school, they practically have 50/50 custody... this pisses BM off ROYALLY but BF is EXTATIC... did SM overstep boundaries? or did SM just help open her husbands eyes? would this piss you off if it was done to you? or if this was your husband would you do the same?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

Of course you could expect BM to be very upset about this because now she is not getting her way and is getting less time w/ the child and she's going to look at the SM as overstepping her boundaries.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009

They were happy with the way things were going, but there was an order, and they were not following the order... The BF wasn't spending the time the child deserved to spend with his/her father, and had been unable to form a bond with the child. The SM just help BF to realize what was stated in the order, for him to get the full time granted in the order. BM was cheating BF out of valuable time with SK. I don't really see this as over stepping, i see it as a wife making sure her husband doesn't get cheated out of VALUABLE time

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002

Does BD have some kind of mental challenges that he is unable to read himself?

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002

Musiclover, I had that with my most recent ex-SO too.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009

no, he doesn't have a mental challenge, but legal termonology can be quite confusing, and as he beleieves it to be one way, BM can make it seem as if it says another... being as some manipulative BMs can be sometimes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Only if he's a complete idiot. I can't really comment further than that because I don't date or marry men who are too incompetent to handle their own stuff.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009

This and on top of it he had EXTREMELY horrible depression of her breaking off the engagement right before the baby was due, and his student loan got signed over to another company over night, and his intrest rate went from really low to i forget how high, but over night his minor student loan ended up costing $75,000 dollars for a teaching degree! his monthly payments went from $50/mo to $1000/mo... with all this depression he kinda didn't care and just went with what ever his ex said, then from there, even as he came out of the depression, just kept going with how it was

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
None of that changes my previous posts.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009

I was in the middle of writing it as you posted yours, sorry... But in all the same, if a wife feels as though her husband is being cheated out of valuable time, and it is in the order for him to get more time... I think the wife has a right to shed light on the subject, what the husband does with the info is up to him... If he decides to ignore it and continue with what he has been doing prior, the wife should then leave it alone, because THAT would be pushing the husband to do what he isn't interested in doing, and THAT IMO is over stepping....

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Just as it is his ex's prerogative to take it back to court to request the status quo be ordered .

If it worked prior to the new steppie, there's no reason it can't continue working.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

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