What do you think a step mom/dad should be?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009
What do you think a step mom/dad should be?
6
Tue, 03-13-2012 - 12:31pm

How would you best describe the best step parent? how much is too involved, how little is too involved? Should they have authority over your children? if so how much or little authority should they have? if they have children, should they treat all the children the same? if not should their kids come first, or yours? if they end up having kids together, should their kids come first or second, or should everyone make an effort to make everything equal?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2005
Tue, 03-13-2012 - 1:12pm

I think it really depends on the dynamics.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Tue, 03-13-2012 - 11:08pm
I think it varies by family. I would expect my kids to be treated equally to any kids a potential new spouse already has or we have together. I'd also expect said hypothetical spouse to have the authority to ensure the parameters Ex and I have set for our kids. Same as my sister or Ex's sister or my BFF.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2009
Wed, 03-14-2012 - 9:46am

ok, to be more specific, i mean in YOUR situation.... what would be YOUR ideal SP in YOUR situation, a step parent that you marry, then a step parent your EX marries...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Wed, 03-14-2012 - 9:47am
Mine fits a SP for either me or ex to marry.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2011
Wed, 03-14-2012 - 3:57pm
for DS5 - since his father isn't involved at all, any spouse would likewise not be involved.

For me, I view myself as being a caretaker and friend to the kids, enforcing the rules set by Dad and Mom, and loving on them
- Luhverly Mom to DS5 Smom to DSD6 & DSD4 Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2009
Wed, 03-14-2012 - 7:19pm
In my situation I never wanted kids of my own and never wanted to be a mom. My BF has two kids so he does all the parenting. They are 5 and 9 and the 5 year old needs a lot of discipline. So I leave that to the bio parents. The only time I discipline is when they torture my very old, dying cat..or touch my things (my antiques etc) then I tell them not to do those things as its not theirs to touch.
If my BF has the kids for a week or two, its his job to take them to school/daycare and pick them up and get them to where they need to be.
Its also his job to take care of anything school or medical related.

We also agreed he's 100% responsible for them financially, that includes child support and anything extra. Im nothing more than their friend.
They already have a mom and I have no interest in parenting so I leave it up to the bio parents.
My BF is happy with this and this is what works for us.